Could not find the original post on Twitter.

Mmmmmm... I'm a little on the fence about this. I won't go so far as to say "white silence = violence," I think that's a bit much. If that's the case, we're all guilty of some sort of violence. Male silence = violence. American silence about the Taliban = violence. It's a ridiculous. But then again, when do you have to take responsibility? At what point were the Germans responsible for the Holocaust? There were plenty of people not turning in Jews, just trying to live their lives likes the rest of us. After a nine-hour work day, are you really in the mood to start protesting the plight of the Jews, an action that could possibly get you and your family disappeared?

There's that famous poem by Martin Niemöller: First they came for so-and-so, and I did nothing. Then they came for me. Yeah, he has a valid point. But I'm not going to be angry at those who did nothing either. There are tons of groups that are being persecuted: women, minorities, homosexuals, Christians under ISIS, Muslims living in Myanmar, Gypsies in France... It's impossible to speak out for everyone. And sometimes we're really fucking busy just being alive. Yeah, in a perfect world instead of coming home from a long day and sitting down in from of the TV to relax, you would try to stop these problems. But then again, in a perfect world these wouldn't be a problem to begin with. So yeah, I think we all probably should do more to chip in, but I'm not going to blame you so much if you don't.

I seriously get thrown off whenever I see yaoi on a hentai site. Like, in between all the titties and tentacles suddenly I'm seeing two dudes going at it. That's great and all, but I'm not here for that right now. Who is posting these too? Why would you think this is a good idea?

I literally cannot stop laughing each time I watch this. I had to lie down at some point.

My college experience

To be honest after Bronx Science I found college to be really easy. Classes happened, what, twice a week? That was plenty of time to do my homework and prepare. In fact I made a schedule: classes on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I'd go to the library on Sunday and Wednesday and do all my homework then so I could go home and play video games every other day of the week. Compare that to Bronx Science, where we spent about seven hours a day in six to eight classes, then you're expected to go home after that and do work for each of those. On top of that there are after school activities or chores... yeah, when I see people whining about how hard college is, I think you're all pussies.

Then again, I guess if you couldn't handle taking the test to get in, college probably would be hard.

With Trump pulling out of the Paris Accord, the left has staked the higher ground with science. How could Republicans just ignore what scientists are telling them? Yeah, I agree it's pretty insane. But you know what else is insane? The anti-vaxx movement, and its proponents tend to be liberal. Oh, those are just white hippies who don't know better? Fat liberals are also starting to state it isn't a problem, many of whom are POC. Saying you're big and proud is one thing, saying a doctor is wrong when he points out you're at a high risk of diabetes is another. I'll admit the right's obstinacy toward global warming is larger and more focused, but the idiots aren't just on one side.

Civ VI is a completely different animal. Before you could build anything you wanted in a city: You need a bank, just click on that and it'll take so many turns. Taking too long? Then build a factory so your production output would rise. Instead in VI you first have to build a district outside of the city. Need a bank? Well, first make sure that financial district is up and running. Fuck, that's taking too long? Well, if you want that factory you need that industrial district. This slows down the player severely. A bank before took, what, fifteen turns? Now I've gotta waste like thirty or fifty first just making this district before I even get to the bank.

I'm not having as much fun as a consequence. Like, when I first got the demo for Civ V I was completely addicted. I played those 100 turns over and over, knowing I was completely fucked. But it's not the same with VI. Oh, I'm enjoying myself, but it's not that same type of passion. Maybe I just have improve my technique and get my groove, and then I'll be dominating.

If there is one true flaw, I'd say it's the workers. In literally every Civ game I've played, you build a worker and he'll work until the end of eternity unless he gets killed by an enemy unit. Now he'll just... disappear after four or so turns. Why. Why. Why. I'm already slowed down making these districts, I don't have fucking time to create a town that's literally just a worker factory. It's like that Breath of the Wild durability bullshit. It isn't fun, it's just stupid, why would you add this to a game series that already had a system that works? And it doesn't make any sense. Who in real life would die after constructing three farms?

How the fuck do people chop food so quickly? I need to take a goddamned class on this bullshit.

In all seriousness, do those street cleaners do anything? Supposedly they're clearing out the gutters, but I'm not even certain they're doing that properly. Also they're supposed to be washing the road a bit, but that's barely too. After all this effort with alternate-side parking, you'd hope we have something more substantial. I used to watch the street cleaners in San Francisco because that was an affair with hoses going every single fucking direction. I think it was the only time the homeless got a shower. But here it's like... we went through all this effort just for that?

Monopolies are often said to be the scourge of capitalism: Instead of having companies compete against one another and innovate to attract customers, one large company instead spends its resources pushing lobbyists to pass laws that allow it stay on top. A good example is internet in the US; Comcast and Time Warner are complete pieces of shit, but there's no one else to turn to.

And yet monopolies can serve a useful purpose. As I sat on the highway I wondered how Google Maps knows where the heavy traffic is. I figured there are two options: Either there's a governmental agency detailing traffic info that Google is pulling the data from, or it's able to estimate from motorists using Google Maps how fast they're moving, i.e. if ten people at a certain location with Google Maps open are only going 5mph, you know there's heavy traffic. I looked it up and it turns out it's the latter. But that's interesting because it assumes there are enough drivers on the road using Google Maps. And that wouldn't be the case without a monopoly. If Apple and Mapquest actually were serious competitors, the traffic info wouldn't be sufficient since not enough people are employing the service.

OK, new rule: If you design a character, you must decide —

— what fucking side of his head the hair is going to be parted. Seriously, this shit is driving me crazy because it's switching every three panels.

Warning: Many links lead to cock.

We all know about that thin strip of line hentai artists place at the top of penises as if that's any sense of censorship, but BL artists employ other ways of hiding cock, including what is commonly referred to as "lightsaber dick." Scanlators usually left it be, but in the past year some groups were offended by this and actually would copy images from other manga and put them in with varying results because, you know, different art styles and such. Either way, I'm pretty sad they're doing this because lightsaber dicks are so fucking hilarious. It's really amazing to see people getting into the mood, acting like they're like they're some sort of sex god, and suddenly there's a beam of light coming out of his pants like he's the dude from Landmarks in Gynecology who described an erect penis as thrusting "itself forth into the Light of God as ... [an] Aspiring Member which erects itself toward Heaven." It seems like such a lost opportunity trying to make the sex sexy.

I first heard about James Comey during the Bush years. At that time he was Acting Attorney General when the current one, John Ashcroft, was undergoing surgery. Comey did not agree with certain parts of the NSA program, so Chief of Staff Andrew Card and future Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez went to the hospital Ashcroft was staying in to get him to sign onto it. Comey went to cut them off, but Ashcroft didn't need it; he told them that he's currently recovering from surgery, and Comey's in charge. Comey was prepared to resign if the Bush administration pushed the issue too far.

So that first impression of Comey did influence my thoughts since last December. He seems like a principled man and even though he's a Republican is willing to push back for those principles. I believe he put a lot of thought into revealing the FBI investigation into Clinton's emails right before Election Day, and did not try to purposefully bring about a Republican victory. From later reports coming from the FBI, he has a lot of respect for the position he held and did not want it to become involved in politics. He just genuinely believed he had to inform congress of what he was doing for legal reasons. And to be honest, I don't think that shit really affected the elections that much; if she won by over a million votes but still lost, does some emails really change shit?

But the situation with Trump is much more obfuscate. As I said before, I feel like Russia is Trump's Benghazi. Unless if someone from his team asked the Russians to hack the DNC or the Russians approached them with this information — something I really doubt — there really isn't anything terribly criminal here. But because of the political climate, people are wondering whether Comey was fired for his Russia investigation. Maybe? But knowing Trump it could simply be he didn't like the man. Comey has proven himself time and again in the past of not being a team player, and that's the opposite of what the president requires of his subordinates.

The whole Comey situation is interesting to me is it's pure politics in full force. Trump mishandled the firing and the optics, but I think the reaction came as a surprise to him. After all, didn't the Democrats hate Comey for what he did to Clinton? And it truly is hilarious watching them suddenly be pissed at Trump for his actions when just months ago they were clamoring for Comey's resignation. Now they're acting indignant about it?

To be honest, the most shocking thing about this whole episode is that Joe Lieberman — Joe fucking Lieberman! — is being seriously considered as a replacement for the FBI Director. This truly is the craziest presidency I've lived under.

Moham: You know what annoys the fuck out of me and makes me jealous?
Me: What?
Moham: I have a friend named Du Dang, and whenever he types something, he replaces the word "do" with "Du."
Moham: "I'm not sure what to Du."
Me: Son. Surely you can combat him with Moh.
Moham: Would it be apparent enough?
Me: Not as easily, but I think it's Du-able.
Moham: Not sure I can take any-Moh of this.
Me: ...Yeah, not as easily. But it can be Dun.
Moham: God dammit.
Moham: I'm so jealous.

How the fuck could I have explained this better?

Child 1: Oh, you have New Balance shoes?
Me: Yep.
Child 2: How are they new? They look the same.
Me: Oh, "New Balance" is the name of the company that made them. That's why there's an N there.
Child 2: But they seem pretty old.
Me: Yeah, they are. But "New Balance" is the name of the people who made it. That has nothing to do with whether the shoe is actually new or not.
Child 2: Oh... When did you get new shoes?
Me: I didn't. I've owned these for years.

Latest news: My cousin Rob is gonna be working for Ubisoft soon. Maybe he'll Frenchify Assassin's Creed again.

Back when we were building the house, the world was transitioning away from incandescent light bulbs. Seeing the way the winds were blowing, I told my parents repeatedly that we should get LED-compliant light fixtures around the house. For some reason my dad insisted we get CFL. It was a thing, don't get me wrong, but I knew that the standard was going to be LED. But after many fights later, dad won and got his CFL.

Years later the bulbs in the kitchen finally went out. And now that companies have discontinued making CFL bulbs, we have no fucking idea how we're going to replace them. But the part that bugs me is dad saying, "Well, we just couldn't get LED back then. It wasn't around." No! It totally fucking was! You just didn't listen to me!

There's an manhwa called Killing Stalking, a story about a gay stalker who broke into his love interest's house and discovered the dude is actually a serial killer. It's an interesting story of mental illness, Stockholm Syndrome, horror, and suspense, and understandably there's an enthusiastic fan community. But there's also a large group that bashes the series and personally attacks fans, saying those who enjoy it support abusive relationships or predators. Instead of the fandom doing what it usually does — speculating, producing fanart or fanfiction, doing their usual pairing bullshit — most of the conversation is defensive.

I feel like fifteen, twenty years ago this wouldn't've been an issue. I'm not saying fandom wars didn't exist — they sure did about the stupidest, stupidest bullshit — but instead now there has to have long conversations with social justice warriors. People produced a lot of sick shit, but usually there would be warning we'd call "squick." And you'd know to stay clear away from that unless you were into Heero having bondage sex with Doctor J. And that would be that.

Under the Bush years we would always yell about how closed-minded conservatives were as we faced fights against gay marriage, abortion, birth control, whatever. But the left is turning that way too. Unless you fit the slim litmus test of liberalness, then you're immediately a villain who needs to be attacked. There is only black and white. If you like to wear a kimono and you're not Japanese, then you're racist. If you patron sports teams but not female ones, you're sexist. If you like a fucking fictional piece of work, you actively advocate domestic violence and serial killers I guess. It's a disturbing trend I really hope ends soon because I'm just here for the porn, I don't want to read long, confrontational essays.

So one of Kindle's selling points over something like an iPad is the long battery life. There's no actual screen; it's pieces of ... metal I'm guessing? ... under the screen that only move whenever you turn a page, meaning it only consumes electricity at those times. There are other drainers like a dim back light and wifi (both of which can be turned off) but really you only need to charge it once a month. Harlan bought one for my mother because she complained about how heavy her library books were, but she can't concentrate recently so the Kindle was left to me. The battery did indeed work for that month, and afterward I charged it. Since then it hasn't even worked for a whole day, even if I never use it. I can't understand how it died so quickly. What the hell did I do?

I picked up a glass and it fucking exploded. I'm not joking. I literally picked it up, I wasn't squeezing it, and it just exploded. The shards went flying all across the room. I don't know how this happened... unless this is the first sign of my mutant powers. What could they be?

Harlan got us one of those Google Mesh wifi devices. Because it's Google, it has all these cool features like check how much data each device is using. Or connect with devices around the house to be able to turn them on remotely.

...Or have the option to post your Wifi password onto Twitter and Facebook.

Harlan's girl was trying to teach me how to cook, but it was pretty difficult to understand her: "Speak to the meat. Then you can cut it properly." "Don't make waves in the kitchen." "This is like pressing on the accelerator. You go with the flow." I came out of it not knowing what the hell I'm supposed to do.

Whoa shit, NyaaTorrents was taken down? God, I've been out of the anime scene for so long I've got no other portals besides BakaBT and that's a completely different thing.

Me: I should buy Civ VI.
Greene: Do you like your life? Because it will be over the moment you buy that.
Greene: "Yeah, she was a cool person. Then she bought Civ VI."

Considering the mood with Trump, it's interesting to note that Obama was nicknamed "the deporter-in-chief" because he really clamped down on illegal immigration. Not as stringent as Trump is being, and although the administration did say they were focusing on people caught at the border and violent criminals, there were plenty of people who had been living in America for years that were sent home. I remember listening to news stories that were intended to tug the heartstrings of children being deported.

Also, Bush gave more assistance to Africa than any other president. Billions of dollars, interventions, programs to help with AIDS/HIV along with other diseases... He is still fondly remembered there. At the end of his term Obama was actually chided because his legacy in Africa was severely lacking compared to his predecessor.

Because of our perceptions, sometimes it's hard to look at our presidents outside of their party, but like any other human being they're complicated with mixed opinions that can change over time. It's easier to study history in the Middle or Classical Age because we're far removed from the events. The issues don't matter to us anymore. If I started talking about how the Carthaginians attacked Saguntum, would any of you care? Or how the internecine fighting between Guelphs and Ghibellines affected the trade routes to the Champagne markets? No, not really. We don't have emotional investment in the game. But because we've lived under Obama, Bush, and Clinton, our ideas can skew because of our experiences. That's why I appreciate people who write about current leaders since it's so much more difficult and you can receive so much more hate.

People have been visiting us so much and sleeping in my room that I've been tidying up my room constantly, trying to hide the random crap lying around behind the closet door or in the dresser. Now I can't find jack shit. Do I even own my own room anymore?

Mom complained it's hard for her to hold up hard cover books, which is usually what the library supplies. So Harlan gave her a Kindle and figuring out how to put library books onto it is rather difficult. I had to first sign up for "overdrive," which apparently is handling the NYPL's ebooks instead of NYPL itself, and then even after I find a book I still have to go onto amazon's website to borrow it. And even after all of this, I've noticed the ebooks selection is rather sparse; dozens of the authors that mom reads aren't listed. Older ones that she's read like Inspector Maigret I can understand, but nowadays aren't almost all newly published books come with an ebook option? How the hell aren't these online somehow?

My God, Fox just dropped Bill O'Reilly. I feel like my adolescence is crumbling around me. We would boo and hiss this dude, thinking he was the literal worst Fox News could produce, not knowing people like Glenn Beck were just down the road. The Bush administration, Republican congress, and Fox News were this triad that liberals tried to smash against but only produced broken bodies afterward. Democrats were just a mess with no one steering that ship, but Fox News and Bush could provide a coherent, singular message that never seemed to break even during the most difficult points of the Iraq War. And now it's the Republicans who are scrambling even when they have their own dude in the White House, and O'Reilly has fallen from grace. It's crazy to see how quickly the sands can shift.

What throws me off is why now? Yeah, this all started thanks to an article at The New York Times, but we've known for years that O'Reilly is a sexual harasser. That's nothing new. It's like bringing up that Cheney is a dick. We're all aware of it.

Why the hell do I suddenly have an urge to play Diablo III? I have so many other games going on. Well, I guess at least I haven't bought Civ VI yet. Then I would truly be lost.

The Truth About New York City's Elite High Schools

Eh... I don't know. One thing I definitely can say is Bronx Science was a POC school. White people existed, but they were the minority. So that's why I don't feel like it's a discrimination issue per say and more of... just fucking man up and study. For example, I came from Fieldston. That was not a test-based school. At all. I had to learn how to fill in bubbles on scantrons and shit because we simply did not do that. Math also wasn't one of its strong points either (more of a liberal arts, fine arts place), so I had to hit the books and practice to take the test. And I spent all of Freshman year adapting because Science is a test-based school. Yeah, you gotta come to class and do homework, but holy shit I remember weekly English quizzes, math was every other week on a Wednesday, my physics teacher made sure we had at least a test a month. If you can't handle that from the start, how the hell are you expected to survive?

Is Moham doing this with anyone else or is it just me?

dundun: Son.
dundun: Talking to you is like this sometimes:
dundun:
Rizhall: I... don't send anything that drastic.
Rizhall: .. Do I?
dundun: You sent an ASCII art of a gun along with a message about us dying together in the middle of us chatting about Zelda.

In case you were considering what that message was, here it is:
IF YOU WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDN'T GO TO YOUR FUNERAL CUZ I'D BE IN JAIL FOR KILLING THE MOTHER ****ER THAT KILLED YOU!
..._.....____________________, ,
....../ `---___________----_____] = = = = = D
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//
WE ARE TRUE HOMIE'S...
WE RIDE TOGETHER...
WE DIE TOGETHER...
bang..

How Technology Has Failed to Improve Your Airline Experience

I'm not entirely certain this is technology's fault and rather just... economics. OK, neither technology nor economics excuses what happened to that gentleman on United, but I'm talking about things like lack of legroom or paying for checked-in luggage. It's like Amazon Prime: Yeah, shipping is free... except the shipping costs are now just integrated into the price of the item. You were paying for your checked-in luggage before but you didn't see it because it was simply part of your plane ticket. Let's take Spirit Airlines as an example. They don't give you jack shit. No blankets, no food, nada. But they're dirt cheap. So if you want extra services, you pay more.

I think technology has helped people find something cheaper, but the ultimate blame is on the consumer. Although we complain about the lack of amenities, clearly our highest priority is price or else we wouldn't find ourselves in this shithole. If we really cared about whether we can check in unlimited bags, we would've just chosen the airline that provided that instead of something cheaper. Going back to Spirit Airlines, it gets universally bad reviews and yet it's expanding.

The author in this article also mentioned rampant capitalism being the blame and... yeah, it is. But so what? Let's say we implement laws insisting that people get free blankets, pillows, and lunch. You can demand that criteria all you want, but that still requires money and prices would increase across the board. And apparently since we look for cheapness over everything else, that wouldn't make us happy.

I guess what you should do is shop around, but unfortunately because a lot of the airlines have been absorbed it's harder to find competition that's willing to give you the better amenities. Still, I think there are decent airlines still around that may not supply you with a good lunch but will make the experience not horribly miserable. Support them, and perhaps years down the line the other companies will join in.

I finally played Breath of the Wild and it's.... well, I'll just show you what I said to Moham:

dundun: Son.
dundun: I played Breath of the Wild
dundun: It's a good game, but it's not a Zelda game.
Rizhall: That's the feeling I got when I saw it.
dundun: It's like... it's not the open-world aspect that bothers me.
dundun: Let me give a few examples of what's weird:
dundun: 1. There are lots of different weapons like a regular RPG or action-adventure game, and they have attack stats.
dundun: 2. Those weapons break all the fucking time.
Rizhall: That sounds extremely annoying.
dundun: 3. Armor too. He's not wearing the traditional Link clothing. They have defense stats.
dundun: 4. THERE'S FUCKING VOICE ACTING.
dundun: 5. It's almost... futuristic in a way? It still takes place in a fantasy world, but there's sci-fi shit like fucking everywhere. You're literally carrying a smart phone with you at all times.
Rizhall: Son, that samurai game I'm playing right now? Nioh.
dundun: 6. You pick horses yourself. No Epona subplot thing. You catch them in the wild and can have multiple ones.
dundun: LIterally it feels like another game, a good game, but it's another game with Zelda slapped on it.
Rizhall: That sounds like it should have been a new IP.
Rizhall: They had a public alpha demo out last year, and the weapons you got had durability, and they broke all the fucking time too.
Rizhall: So you had to keep replacing your weapons.
dundun: SOn? That weapon replacement is actually getting out of control.
dundun: Like, I'm literally breaking two per fight.
Rizhall: So many people hated that shit that by the time the game actually came out, they removed the durability function entirely.
dundun: And it's everything: swords, boomerangs, bows and arrows.
dundun: Seriously, that's the worst fucking part of the game.
Rizhall: That sounds very annoying.
Rizhall: Honestly, son.
dundun: Jen can't handle it to be honest. She just starts throwing bombs at people instead.
Rizhall: I don't think I've played a single game where the durability feature added to the enjoyment of a game.
dundun: Yeah, seriously. Diablo even started phasing that shit out a bit too. You just do it after you die and check it every now and then to make sure it's OK.
dundun: Yo! Bombs are another different thing too!
dundun: You can only use one bomb at a time.
dundun: And you can detonate it whenever you want.
dundun: But after you use it, you have to wait... maybe five seconds before you're allowed to use another.
Rizhall: That's weird as fuck.
Rizhall: Why'd they do that?
dundun: It's because your cellphone is generating the bomb I think.
dundun: It can only handle one at a time.
Rizhall: Well that's stupid.
dundun: Oh yeah, THE most important thing.
dundun: You can't fucking roll anymore!
dundun: I'm running places and I can't fucking roll!
Rizhall: WHAT.
dundun: They took it out of the game!
Rizhall: NO CRASHING INTO THINGS?
dundun: You can jump now, but it's maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad slow.
dundun: NO CRASHING INTO THINGS. YOU HAVE TO PICK UP A HAMMER AND SMASH SHIT, AND THEN IT BREAKS.
Rizhall: WHAT THE FUCK.
Rizhall: What's even the point of the game anymore?
dundun: I don't know. I just... I don't know.
dundun: I think I would enjoy this better if it weren't a Zelda game.
dundun: Because the entire time I'm thinking, "Why are they doing this? Why did they design it this way?"
Rizhall: It sounds like they're shooting so hard for realism now that they're removing a lot of enjoyable shit from the series.
dundun: Well, if they wanted to do that, they should've fucking worked on the graphics.
dundun: Coming off of FFXV, this looks...... eh.
dundun: I mean, it's pretty and colorful, I'll give them that, but it's still...... eh.
Rizhall: You know what's crazy?
dundun: What?
Rizhall: This is gonna affect all future Zelda games from now on, at least for a while.
dundun: OH WAIT, I FORGOT TO MENTION THIS.
dundun: IF YOU CUT GRASS, YOU DON'T GET RUPEES.
dundun: RUPEES AREN'T LYING AROUND ANYMORE.
dundun: NEITHER ARE HEARTS.
dundun: YOU HAVE TO FIND SHIT ON THE GROUND AND SELL IT LIKE IT'S FUCKING FFXII.
Rizhall: WHAT THE FUCK.
dundun: AND YOU HAVE TO COOK FOOD AND EAT IT.
Rizhall: WAHT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, NINTENDO?
dundun: THAT'S HOW YOU HEAL YOURSELF.
dundun: I DON'T KNOW!
dundun: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW
Rizhall: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING DOING.

In 1878 Bismarck said, "Europe today is a powder keg and the leaders are like men smoking in an arsenal. A single spark will set off an explosion that will consume us all. I cannot tell you when that explosion will occur, but I can tell you where: Some damned foolish thing in the Balkans will set it off." And he was right; in 1914 Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria was assassinated in Serbia and a few weeks later Europe was at war. Millions of people dead and monarchies were toppled all because one man and his wife were shot in their car. It really shows if the cards are set properly, one small incident can blow up into a major war.

That's why I'm so worried about the Syria situation. People criticized Obama's lack of initiative, but in a way I can sympathize. Could we honestly start World War III over fucking Syria of all places? It's possible. As much as I pity the people there, I'm not certain I want to start a war with Russia over it. One thing I hoped with Trump, who gets along much better with the Russians, is that he wouldn't provoke that sleeping dragon. Going back to Bismarck's quote, his comment about the leaders was a jab at their inability to foresee the consequences of a European war and to prevent it. It's true; the month between the assassination and the first declarations of war could've been used to deflect the whole problem, but with shitty leaders like Wilhelm II and Nicholas II, that wasn't going to happen. There's no way I would expect any better from Trump.

I guess after tonight maybe I should start looking into buying a house in the countryside.

Dad's favorite jam is Bonne Maman, and he keeps a rather impressive collection of flavors maticulously organized in our fridge. And yet my brother, a grown-ass man in his mid-thirties, enjoys jumbling them up just to piss our father off.

My knee has been hurting me recently. Coincidentally I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and when I told mom and dad they assumed it was for my knee. However it's the gynecologist. Mom then said, "Oh, tell her, 'When you're down there, can you check my knee too? It's right next to it after all.' "

With all this shit about Trump and Russia, I'm wondering if this is his Benghazi. Yeah, there may be something there but does it really matter so much? So long as no one on his team was actually colluding to hack the DNC, really is there anything wrong with having contacts with Russia? I mean, Clinton probably could've done better with Benghazi, but so what? I feel like it's the same with Trump; there's more important shit to focus on and criticize than this. Clearly Putin preferred Trump over Clinton... but so did Khrushchev and JFK. Yeah, I'm not comfortable with his connections with Russia, but I can live with it like I could with Bush and Saudi Arabia. I'm not going to say this is the most insane shit going down at the White House right now.

I notice some families keep bats or other weapons in strategic locations in case there's some sort of home invasion. My family however leaves shoehorns hidden around house in case there's an emergency.

Peguero: I feel like we can do better than Butternuts.
Me: All I can say is at least we're better than Massachusetts. Essex? Really? That's the best you can offer? They're probably spending all their time trying to remember how to spell their state that they can't do anything else.
Me: Oh wait, that's Connecticut. Well, my statement still stands.
Peguero: Fetchville isn't any better.
Me: What is that even? Sexually?
Peguero: I don't know! If that's the worst they've got, I am not impressed.
Me: Connecticut and Massachusetts, most boring states?
Peguero: The whole of the Northeast is a disaster. Must be a puritan thing.

Trump tried to roll out and failed in passing his own health care act, which made a lot of people on the program sigh a breath of relief, mostly because a lot of them would be thrown off. The bill fell through in part because of the Freedom Caucus, a vestige of the Tea Party, who thought even with the removal of so many provisions, it wasn't bleeding Obamacare enough.

Regardless of what you feel about Obamacare, the Freedom Caucus had a point: We are $19 trillion in debt, and the majority of it goes to social security or healthcare. There is no way this is sustainable. Fixing the problem is to raise revenues and cut costs, but how? Revenue is taxes — and we already have the highest corporate tax rate in the developed world — but what about the costs? If we're throwing more people onto Medicaid, costs are going to increase exponentially.

We're going to have to make many tough decisions in the future, and quite frankly Congress (understandably so) doesn't want to deal with it. But it's better to deal with it now than later when the entire government is imploding after it runs out of money. I'm not certain kicking millions of people off Medicaid like the Freedom Caucus wants is the correct decision. Perhaps we could do better examinations like why healthcare is so goddamned expensive (e.g. not being able to determine prices of doing blood work between different locations, making hospitals more efficient). Either way, this decision is on the horizon.

Supposedly Uber drivers in NYC still have to pass some sort of livery test, but I wonder sometimes. I mean, I've gotten a driver who went 29 up the Henry Hudson Parkway, another dude who didn't know how to merge onto a highway, and yet another who refused to inch past a double-parked car. Yeah, we all complain about taxi drivers, but I feel they were more competent than this. 

Me: Yeah, they've been adding a lot more different fighting styles to Street Fighter. Like Hakan, he's a Turkish oil wrestler.
Harlan: Turkish oil wrestling? What's that?
Me: Oh, it's a bunch of dudes who get into tight, leather shorts and douse themselves in oil. And because their bodies are so slippery, all you can really get purchase on is the dick. So it's basically watching these dudes in leather shorts grabbing each others' cocks.
Harlan: No way. You're making that up. There's no way this is real. (looks up videos on youtube) Oh my god. Oh my god, what are they doing? This is a terrible idea. This is a horrible idea.

A story from my mother: "I dreamed that Tita Tita gave me a get well card. Well, in reality she did give me one, and I thought how nice it was to have someone praying for me. But in my dream, my doctor then emailed me:

"Dear Lord,
Please deliver my patients from their Christian relatives. And please save them from the bacteria in the water that's given to them from Lourdes. And protect them from the rags that were rubbed against the decaying body of Father Pio. And guard them from these crucifixes that were touched by a thousand different hands. Amen."

Jesus Christ, even in her dreams mom is merciless!

If you don't know what muesli is, it's a Swiss cereal with mostly oats and other items like seeds, dried fruit or other grains. Other people find it dry and bland, but I think it's palatable. Audrey bought it as a breakfast dish, which led to this statement:

Mom: Muesli... of course it's a German dish. If the French looked at this, they'd say, "Feed that to the horses. It's not meant for human consumption." That's why the Germans would like something like this. They like torturing people.

This weather needs to atop seesawing. if it wants to stay cold, then stay cold. Don't warm up and wake up all my plants just to kill them a few days later.

Decode DC: Hey Tea Party, meet your lefty cousins

While listening to this podcast, I could feel pain start welling up in my heart as I thought, "Oh Jesus, please not again." Dealing with the Tea Party during the Obama years, particularly during his first term, was really fucking frustrating because they would block law after law if it didn't pass their strict litmus test for their ideals. And now this dude is trying to do the same thing except for the left. After spending years railing against Bush and then the Tea Party for not willing to compromise, I'm really frustrated that this is now continuing. What happened to all those words we said about each side giving and taking? For example, we live in a country with a shit ton of racists. I don't like it, but I have to recognize they're citizens like me and have a voice. If liberal says we have to immediately let any and all people who want to enter the US to do so and have a quick path to citizenship, the racists are going to push back. Hard. So in order to make both of them happy, both sides have to give up something they want. We don't round up all the illegal immigrants, but we strengthen the border. We don't make it easy to enter and become a citizen, but we don't make it impossible either. That way a group of people — who can form a solid voting block — isnt't felt completely left out. That way as a country we aren't torn apart and slowly we move society away from racism. That's what happened with gay marriage; in the 80s gay marriage would be impossible and even though much of our country is still uncomfortable with it, it's now much more accepted. And yeah, there are some things that shouldn't be compromised: We're not going back to Jim Crow, abortion shouldn't be completely banned. But that's how negotiation and compromise work. Each player figures out what the priorities are and what can be sacrificed. No one comes out happy, but if you expand your list of non-negotiable items, then we're gonna continue to be in this gridlock that we've been in for the past eight years.

Sorry, super busy today so here's a video of our dear Pope Francis:

I think Looney Tunes should be sued for false representation because they always have these women leaving pies out to cool on the windowsill without telling us it takes a fucking master baker to create that pie crust and makes it seem like something people just do easily. It nearly brought Audrey to tears today.

Harlan: Wait, Orthodox women wear wigs? Why?
Me: Because there's a rule in the Bible that you have to cover your hair. Israel's in the Middle East; it's like the Virgin Mary covering her hair.
Mom: You Jews, do you find hair erotic?
Dad: It's just a rule.
Mom: (starts shaking her hair at dad) Do you find this sexy? Ooooooooo! Does this turn you on?

Harlan: You're telling me the minister next door is only twenty-five? Who is he to give me life advice? Seriously? The priest at our church growing up, he used to tell stories of working in 'Nam. He would parachute out of airplanes and then deliver last rites to people on the front lines. And if I were there, I'd be like, c'mon man. Fucking do something useful. Pick up a gun. Shoot something. You're telling me you took up precious space in the plane for this? I could've had a bro instead who's helping. C'mon, do something. Anyway, I can respect that. That priest can tell me what to do.

The Fed's main jobs are keeping inflation in check and lowering unemployment. They use various techniques to do this, and one of those are raising the interest rates when they think the economy is moving too fast. To talk about this really simply, if interest rates are high, people are more likely to invest or keep their money in the bank than spend it. But it's interesting to see how far the Fed's reach extends. Although it's focused on the US economy, in a weird way it's also the world's central bank. The interest rates affect everyone; when Yellen announced what the Fed was doing, it made every business section of newspapers across the world. When US interest rates are low, investors are more likely to throw their money outside of the US in developing markets like Malaysia or Brazil because the US won't give them a good rate of return. But when it's higher, they pull their money back and can wreck emerging economies.

Also, pretty much everyone trades in dollars. So when the interest rate raises and the dollar looks stronger, lots of people sell off other currencies and lowers their values. So let's say you're a shop owner in Mexico. You were importing goods by exchanging your pesos for dollars. Because the dollar was weak, you could buy more with your pesos. But suddenly the dollar is stronger and you can buy much less with it. You may have to raise prices in your store, and suddenly people can't buy staples like rice or potatoes.

It's crazy to think of this, but when you hear shit like the Fed's raising their interest rates by 0.25%, you may think, "So what?" but it literally could wreck countries. I'm certain there are those who say the world should have its own central bank instead of the Fed, which is only answerable to the US, but Jesus that would be insane.

If you've been in the presence of my father for any extended period of time, you'll notice he'll talk to himself a lot. Just start narrating anything he's doing or spend minutes discussing some tangent without realizing people stopped paying attention long ago. It must be genetic because Harlan has the same habit, except his stuff is completely nonsensical. Today alone he just kept on singing over and over, "Would you punch a child?" or "My ears smell weird." Or he'll just walk around muttering, "Baby klep" or "dat shit cray" or "crime. Crime syndicate. Crimea." I'm not certain which is worse, dad's annoying narration or Harlan's insanity.

My sleep schedule is normalizing and I'm feeling sleepy by 22:30. I'm getting up and actually accomplishing large tasks in the morning. It's disgusting, it's unnatural, and I don't like it.

I don't know why, but there's a surge in Korean yaoi recently (do we even have a Korean term for that?). It's possible that it's been there all along and only now are there groups dedicated to translating that. Either way I feel like I'm in middle school again, learning all the honorifics and their nuances, but as I've complained before no one seems to know how the fuck to spell this shit properly. Is it hyung? Or hyeong? And because I'm still not used to Korean names, if the honorific is not a spelling I'm used to, I think it's a part of the name.

How is it after all that shoveling I only got half of my movement on my Apple Watch done for the day?

Alex:
Alex: This raised the question for me.. what is $30 worth in Gil?
Me: Uhhhhhhh... a villa cost like... 300,000 gil, right?
Me: But we don't know what real estate is in Cloud's world.
Alex: Demand is probably through the roof.
Alex: There's only 1 vacant property in the whole world
Me: So 300,000 gil = billions of dollars?
Alex: Unless you count Nibelheim
Alex: But nobody wants to live there
Me: Yeah, Shinra Mansion.
Me: Thirty dollars is probably... 0.01 gil?
Alex: That's some Korean won type of shit right there
Alex: Though at least it's not Vietnamese dong bad
Alex: this opens up a whole can of worms
Alex: Cause that means a potion is 3,000 dollars?
Alex: How much is a ticket to golden saucer?
Me: I mean, that shit instantaneously can heal being stabbed in the face by a SOLDIER.
Me: That's not that bad.
Alex: And how money did we really throw away gambling on chocobos
Alex: Then also consider that when I was a kid I sold Ifrit for 0 gil
Me: How much money did we invest in all those greens raising chocobos?
Alex: Jesus christ
Alex: The entire GDP of the Midgar continent
Alex: Golden saucer is 3,000 for single entry and 30,000 for a lifetime pass
Me: That's..... pretty fucking expensive.
Alex: That would be $900,000 for single entry?
Alex: No... 9 million... For single entry
Alex: What the fuck is Disney doing?
Me: And lifetime would be...
Alex: 90 million
Alex: That also makes a lifetime golden saucer pass only 1/10th the cost of a luxury beachside villa.
Alex: Can you imagine that?
Alex: Honey, the kids have been really good this year... I think we should take them to Disneyland as a reward.
Alex: You're right honey... but hmm, should we go to Disneyland... or should we make a down payment on this beautiful beachside mansion?

When I first heard about Trump's travel ban I came under the impression this was indefinite until further notice, but then I found out they're only for 90 days (120 for refugees). That's inconvenient but not forever, unless Trump plans to keep on extending the limit indefinitely. Still, considering this dude ran on a platform of keeping out people from those countries, three months doesn't seem like much for his constituents. I wonder why he made that or if there was a legal limit. I've been poking around (admittedly not too deeply) but no one has an answer to this or even mentioning this. Like... what is Trump's plan after the ninety days are up? Do we just go about our lives afterward?

Alex: http://www.gameskinny.com/86y1l/ffviis-gold-saucer-a-stand-alone-economy
Alex: Um...
Me: You know, I feel like Gold Saucer should take a few notes from Disney.
Me: Because they did everything in their power to keep their customers from feeling sad.
Me: Like, how much does it hurt business knowing your customers have to walk through a tent city to get to your entrance?
Me: How many were robbed?
Me: How many took one look and walked away?
Alex: It would be like opening a Disneyland in a Brazilian slum
Alex: But after reading that article, it seems like Disney is slacking in some key ways
Alex: Like by allowing their employees to leave
Alex: And not having a monopoly on games.
Alex: And gambling, and ghosts
Me: I'd say, "And not owning a giant prison," but I think I've heard rumors of a detainment center in there... although they can't hand out life sentences.
Alex: Imagine that?
Alex: They give you the electric chair and everyone is wearing Mickey ears
Me: Goofy is the one who pulls the switch.
Alex: Uh-hyuck! Aw shucks fries prisoner

Because I casually asked Harlan's girlfriend how good the FitBit is, of course they got me an Apple Watch. I look at this and wonder how the fuck do I wear this as well as my regular watch? I really like that. But I have to keep the Apple Watch on because she's monitoring my exercise now. Supposedly the screen of the Apple Watch will light up if it realizes you're lifting your wrist to check it, but I've found this only works half of the time, and when it does there's a good chance the time won't be the default screen. I just was asking about the FitBit! I wasn't making definite plans.

On the other hand, it's pretty hilarious that the first day I wore this I worked off 984 calories whereas Harlan's girl only got 313. Any ideas on how accurate these things are?

One of the kids I babysit bought a new book, and at some point his father was writing something on top of it, leaving an impression on the cover. Upon seeing this he had a complete, utter meltdown. Clearly I'm not a good person with kids because the conversation went like this:

Kid: The cover is ruined!
Me: There's literally nothing I can do.
Kid: I want it to go away!
Me: OK.
Kid: Make it go away!
Me: I can't. Yell at your dad when he gets home, he'll apologize, and then live with it.
Kid: It'll still be there!
Me: Yep.

Earlier in the conversation I gave him solutions, like ask if his dad could do an exchange, but once he completely flipped out I couldn't really express sympathy. I don't really know what you're supposed to do in that situation, so I told him to go lie down on the couch and cry it all out if he wants. I do that sometimes when I'm upset. But that apparently made him angrier because he didn't want to admit he was crying. But seriously, I just ride that shit out, but am I supposed to do something else?

My mother: "Before, nurses had that crisp, white uniform and the little hat. Now with what they're wearing I can't tell if they're a nurse or a cleaning lady."

On the back of the Breath of the Wild box:

What does "answer the call" mean? "Breath of the Wild"... Call of nature? Is that what you're implying? I mean, it does look like Link desperately needs to shit and is running to the nearest copse he can find.

Apologies for the crappy picture. Couldn't find one online, and the iPhone refused to focus properly.

Me: Son, this lemon Sanpellegrino genuinely tastes awful.
Me: Oh shit, wrong person.
Me: Oh well, whatever.
Me: It tastes awful and don't ever drink it.
Me: What's good with you.
Reggie: yo
Reggie: lemon san pellegrino
Reggie: is not too bad
Reggie: but the orange one is a lot better
Reggie: so I half agree
Me: YO, BLOOD ORANGE IS THE SHIT.
Me: SO FUCKING GOOD.
Me: That's why I'm disappointed with this lemon one.
Reggie: yeah blood orange is pretty amazing
Reggie: yeah that I can see
Me: The chasm between the blood orange and the lemon is as great as I can imagine.
Reggie: the blood orange sets such a high standard
Reggie: that the lemon being average makes it feel worse than it is
Reggie: I dont know if they have any other flavors
Reggie: do they?
Me: Yeah, my deli likes stocking them. There's orange, pomegranate, and I wanna say pear too.
Reggie: whoah
Reggie: you tried the others?
Me: Nah, I just see them each time I go in. They have them in boxes near the cash register.
Me: My mom usually buys blood orange, but this week she actually got the lemon and.... god, I actually had to throw it out.
Reggie: lol damn
Reggie: I never seen those others ones though, pls try them?
Reggie: and give me your report?
Me: Oh god.
Me: All right.
Me: I can imagine it though:
Me: Day 1: This shit is still not as good as blood orange.
Me: Day 2: Jesus, I wish this were blood orange.
Me: Day 3: I probably shouldn't've started this journey with blood orange. Best for last, son.
Reggie: lol
Reggie: thats how I do it too
Me: Man, I didn't even know. I just drank whatever mom brought home.
Me: I thought they'd be of equal quality.
Me: Clearly I was wrong.
Reggie: lol your expectations clash with reality.
Me: Surely Sanpellegrino has an R&D department. They should just up their game. They've won in the blood orange department, but there's no competition there. If they can win the lemon market, they're basically ruling the world here.
Reggie: lol
Reggie: maybe they held back
Reggie: because they didnt want such a responsibility
Me: Such power corrupts, but they're also withheld great satisfaction to tastebuds the world over. Such a waste.
Reggie: with great power
Reggie: comes bad lemon juice

I can't believe I actually went on that quest and tried every flavor. Grapefruit and clementine aren't that bad! Not as good as blood orange, but I wouldn't turn my nose up to it.

What the Tales series needs to stop doing: Not allowing healing if you have an abnormal status. I've never seen this in any other game. Yeah, there are abnormal statuses like Wild ARM's disease that stop healing, but there mere fact I have something like paralysis or slow shouldn't prevent me from using First Aid on someone. I thought this was gonna be a one-off in Zestiria but now that it's in Berseria too I hope this doesn't become a thing from now on because it's incredibly annoying.

The people who are fleeing Syria and headed toward Europe and beyond are called (in English anyway) migrants. I've seen people complain about this term for a number of reasons. For one, it seems like calling someone a "migrant" is demeaning and doesn't fully encapsulate their experience. For two, a migrant implies they intend to live at their destination for a bit before moving on, which is not the case for many of them who want to live in their new land permanently. And for three, "refugee" provides people with a better chance for an asylum as opposed to a migrant who may be coming in for work.

However "refugee" is probably the worse term. Although you are given easier access to cross the border, many people don't realize that refugees aren't allowed to work in the countries they enter. We all agree that letting people who are fleeing a deadly situation in their homeland is moral, but that doesn't mean when they arrive the natives will like them and citizens will petition their government to stop any competition in the job market. Refugees can stay in camps for years and years and years being given small allowances from the government or UN to survive but little else. Being called a "migrant" is better in those situations since you're allowed to find employment.

Sorry, lost track of time so I can't type up a long post. Here's something:

Also, I figured out the problem from yesterday. You have to download these "catalogs" first, which are basically advertisements for the DLC, before it'll unlock. Why the hell am I required to do this when I've already bought it?

I downloaded some costume DLC for Tales of Berseria but for some reason it would not install properly. I bought it and it's listed in my library as "installed," but when I check the download list it's not there and it won't show up in my game. I've reset the licenses and rebooted the system. Nada.

But as I was poking around the internet I noticed this. The cover of my collector's edition looks exactly like the European edition, not like the American editions. Did Namco sell the extra European editions from the American online store? When I look at the back of my disc box though it says Bandai Namco America though. And if I download a skit set, it goes through fine. Either way, I'm worried because none of this makes sense.

One thing about ikebana, literally one of the most important things, is being able to bend the stems to get shape you want. That is a skill I just don't have despite my best efforts. Either I spend like ten minutes holding this shit in the angle I want and the moment I let go it just bounces back to the original position, or I snap the damned stem in half. I'm watching youtube videos on this shit and I still can't do it properly. Well, if there's one thing sports animes have taught me, you gotta keep trying.

Tonight when I put my neighbors' kids to bed and asked them what they wanted for a bedtime story, they replied they wanted The Legend of Zelda. All of it. They want every single detail. And I stood there, immobile, trying to figure out how the fuck I was expected to smash about thirty years' worth of plot into a fifteen-minute story. Even if I just chose one like Ocarina, I'd still be fucked.

Either way, I'm kinda proud that was the first thing on their minds.

Warning: Final Fantasy XV spoilers.

Additional warning: Moham and me acting like fools as usual.

dundun: Yo son.
dundun: Another thing.
dundun: No fucking music in this dungeon.
dundun: Whatsoever for the first forty minutes.
Rizhall: What!
dundun: What the fuck.
dundun: Why do they insist on doing this shit?
Rizhall: Okay, now that dungeon's lost a shit load of brownie points.
dundun: I know, right?
dundun: Bullshit.
Rizhall: That's horseshit.
dundun: We need to find the programmer for this shit.
dundun: And punch him in the face.
dundun: For Shimomura's sake if nothing else.
Rizhall: Actually, yeah.
Rizhall: A few people on that team need a good punching.
dundun: Whoever decided the plot after Leviathan.
dundun: Whoever decided Ignis needed to be blind.
Rizhall: Whoever decided the entire map music choices.
dundun: Whoever decided how to land the car.
dundun: Whoever decided the design of chapter 13.
Rizhall: Whoever decided you can't summon Ifrit or Bahamut.
dundun: Whoever decided Odin shouldn't be in the game.
Rizhall: Whoever decided Aranea shouldn't permanently replace Gladiolus.
dundun: Whoever decided that the information in Brotherhood and Kingsglaive was integral and therefore not mentioned in the game itself.
Rizhall: Whoever decided that stupid frog bitch needed more screentime than Luna.
dundun: Whoever decided that Dino needed to exist.
Rizhall: Whoever decided you needed to pay a subscription fee for a chocobo you name and feed.
dundun: Whoever decided that in order to learn more about your own fucking party, you needed to buy the season pass.
Rizhall: Whoever decided magic should be locked behind consumable items you have to harvest at camps.
dundun: Whoever decided magic could hurt your party detrimentally.
Rizhall: Whoever decided the car would control itself on the road most of the time.
dundun: Whoever decided to ditch most of the spells known in the FF universe.
Rizhall: Whoever decided there wouldn't be any proper healing spells.
dundun: Whoever decided what the default attire should be for Ignis and Prompto.
Rizhall: Whoever gave Prompto that stupid beard.
dundun: You fucked up. You didn't use "decided."
Rizhall: Shit.
Rizhall: All hope is now lost.
dundun: Only because you could not remain strong.
Rizhall: Well, in my defense, I was looking at porn at the same time.
dundun: Porn is the great defense.
Rizhall: Through porn, our sins are forgiven.

There's a recent push back against teaching Shakespeare because he's an old, white man. It's hard to ask me opinions about the English curriculum because fiction is not really my thing, but I do have to say this: English was historically a white man's language, and for most of its existence the literature was dominated by white men, mostly because women were not usually literate and it was almost entirely white people speaking it. Yeah, there are really good pieces of work out there by women and non-whites that are undoubtedly ignored, but that doesn't mean the majority of literature is shit just because women and minorities didn't participate in it.

Returning to Shakespeare, if you were reading my xanga back in the day, you would easily know I'm no big fan, but I still would give props to him for his writing. It's problematic reading him though because he's meant to be staged, but I wouldn't say those who have memorized his monologues have done it for naught; they're quite impressive metaphorically, metrically, and stylistically. Even without that, he has a large impact on our cultural memory whether you like it or not. Here's a question: Have you ever heard of Zenobia? She was a queen from the 200s whose kingdom was around modern-day Syria. I never heard of her either until my 20s, but I definitely have heard of Cleopatra. I could tell you huge details about her life: meeting Caesar in the rug, the suicide with the asp, the luxurious life she had. Many scholars think the reason why Cleopatra was well known and not Zenobia is simply because Shakespeare didn't write a play about the latter. That's that.

Besides adding a shit ton of words to the English language, Shakespeare also influenced many writers like Dickens or Melville and even left the English language to affect the continent. Much of the Sturm und Drang movement loved him. Hell, he's even known outside of Europe; my first contact with Romeo and Juliet was through Ranma.

One of the problems with English class, and why I was never attracted to it, is it's a very subjective topic, and many teachers have to decide what to teach. A book about a man who's running out of time as he ages like The Great Gatsby probably won't move a classroom of teenagers. But conversely, what the hell would teenagers want to read? As a teacher, would you want to assign Twilight? Hell, back in high school the only "literature" I wanted to read was pornographic fanfiction. That's not really great either. A balance probably should be struck; something that touches the students personally, but doesn't reject the foundations that the language and literature has been based upon because you're losing out otherwise. Some books are from the classics, and some are more modern perhaps.

Sorry, had a long post planned for the night but couldn't finish it in time. Here's a little something:

Recently there has been a rise in male pregnancy for BL manga (using this thing called "omegaverse"), and honestly each time I read this I wonder how the hell do these guys give birth considering they only have an anus. Like, what is the point of having male and female sex if an actual uterus and vagina isn't necessary for giving birth?

Never forget:

But of course the day I left my water bottle at home when I hit the gym is the day they decided to raise the bridge for twenty minutes as I swayed from dehydration on the sidewalk. Seriously, what are they doing at Broadway Bridge?

OK, I'm done with Final Fantasy XV for now until the next episodes come out. Ugh, where do I begin with this? I think what bothers me the most is they spent about a decade working on this game and this was all they could come up with. It's very beautiful, the OST is the best I've heard in a long time, and I enjoyed fighting shit and exploring the world, and although there weren't puzzles dungeon crawling was really fun. But it suffered from deep, fundamental flaws, which even I, an idiot in her room, could easily pinpoint and say the remedy. Warning, this shit is gonna be completely filled with huge spoilers.

The first are characters. Besides the protagonist Noctis they're so... bleh. I have no idea who they are or why they're with me. Maybe Gladiolus because he actually works in the royal guard, but the other two I still have no idea why they're there. I've heard that you need to watch the Brotherhood anime to know the backstory, but that's not fucking excusable. Way back on my xanga, I pointed out in Lost Odyssey I still didn't understand why any of the characters came from another world, and people told me you have to read the light novels to get the full story. Reading the peripheries should not be a requirement for anything. Imagine for a moment in Final Fantasy VII we didn't know about Barrett's violent background with Shinra. That would make his character a lot less interesting, wouldn't it? But now imagine that shit for literally everyone in that party, and you've got Final Fantasy XV. A side anime or novel should add to the experience — kinda like how the Tales of the Abyss novels presented how Peony and Jade met or how the manga explored how Peony and Jade's sister fell in love — but it should not be necessary for getting the full picture.

Then there's the plot. I think fundamentally it was a good and they created a thorough world, but it was not presented well ... or at all in some cases actually. Let's compare with Final Fantasy VII again for a moment. Cloud had two main enemies, Sephiroth and Shinra. Sephiroth was the focus, but Shinra was still a major force to deal with. I want you to imagine for a moment if we heard of Rufus but didn't actually see him once until his final moments, and of Shinra as whole perhaps we only saw Heidegger and Scarlet in two cutscenes lasting about ... thirty seconds each, and maybe saw Reno.... twice. That's kinda the empire in Final Fantasy XV:

1. Emperor Iedolas only appears when he's already a demon, and you never glimpse his human form. The player actually could've missed it entirely because only when you kill him does he spurt lines that allude to his identity, except in my playthrough he was cut off by Prompto saying one of his inconsequential one-liners. The only reason why I could even identify him as a person was because I saw Kingsglaive. If I hadn't I probably would've just shrugged the whole thing off.
2. The player meets the empire's top lieutenants in imperial bases littered across the countryside, but seeing them in there is so brief that when there's a final fight with two of them, I couldn't even remember who they were. Really I'm not writing down any names right now because I can't remember any of them.
3. The main opponent in the empire is Ravus, whom you see maybe ... three or four times? It's enough to leave an impression, especially because it's Luna's brother, but it wasn't enough to give that same sort of deep hate like with Reno, who fucking blew up an entire pillar to kill everyone in Sector 7. Ravus also was completely, utterly poorly written; there was one cutscene with his sister where he inexplicably changes sides. I'm still confused why that happened. (Speaking of which, in that cutscene Luna reveals she's sick and will die soon anyway; when the fuck did that become a thing? They did not mention that once before or once after that.)

The empire was completely minimized. If Square had given enough cutscenes of you fighting them like Cloud did with Shinra, it would've been fucking amazing. After all, that's really why Noctis is gathering up his ancestors' weapons and meeting with the summons; to take down the empire.

There's a point in the story when Noctis has to have some sort of diplomatic meeting with the leader of Altissia where the player could select Noctis' responses. As a whole I had a feeling whatever I said would have no consequence, but I think that was the prime example of what could've been: Imagine if Noctis had to travel to all sorts of client-states of the empire, meet with their leaders, negotiate with them, and slowly erode Emperor Iedolas' power base. How fucking cool would that be? Using the main continent as a launching point, we could've traveled to all sorts of places and met all sorts of people and cultures. Maybe some would betray us and we'd have to work around that. Or we'd fuck up in the talks and wouldn't get as many troops as we could or maybe none at all. That would've been amazing. Instead we just got one conversation that really didn't amount to anything.

And this is what really pissed me off: Chapter 13. I'm usually whining about the annoying sneaking mechanics in that part, but it really is where I feel the developers just stopped giving a shit. You get to the empire's capital, and there's literally no one there. If you read the notes lying around — if! It's not a requirement — you find out the plot of the game. It turns out demons are actually humans, and the empire developed ways to control these demons and shield them from the sun. All of the capital have been turned into demons as the research went out of control. There's no cutscene, nothing. How could you not do that? I don't get the same sort of deep emotions when you leave shit as scraps of paper on the floor, talking almost passively about people I've never seen. Again, let's compare to another game like Final Fantasy IX, which was fucking amazing at tugging the heart strings. They knew how to do a set up. You travel to Lindblum, walk around town, interact with the people and become friendly with them, even participate in their hunting festival. You have fond memories of that place. Which is why when Brahne tears that shit down with Atmos it is all the more horrifying. Garnet's anguished wails as she watches really are the player's. In Final Fantasy XV Noctis should've chatted with the locals, maybe did some sidequests with them, and then suddenly people you knew transform into demons and you have to kill them. Or maybe you find a friend is now under the helmet of a magitek soldier. That's how you fucking do it.

Then there's Ifrit. There are books lying around the entire game that explain years ago Ifrit betrayed the rest of the summons and is the one who's causing the long night and turning people into demons. Luna, or rather the oracle, was the one keeping his powers back somewhat and with her death the nights became never ending with demons all over the place. That's really fucking important to know, especially because you have to fight him in the end. Let's think about that at the moment. First, you may not find a lot of these books, called Cosmogony, because they're found lying on tables or whatever. Second, they're really fucking boring or confusing so I stopped reading them after a while. And third, because you find them lying around, there's so much time in between that they don't form a coherent, smooth narrative in your mind. Going back to Final Fantasy VII, imagine if all that background about Jenova were cut out except in some notes you find in the Shinra Building, some inn in Junon, the Shinra Mansion, and in Wutai for some weird reason. That wouldn't've nearly been as good as watching Sephiroth pacing around, learning about his mother. In fact, because I didn't read all these books, Moham had to explain to me about Ifrit in the end. That's bullshit.

And now Ardyn. Ardyn was interesting as a main villain. I give Square props for putting him out there early on and frequently throughout so we do feel some sort of attachment, but he too falls under the problem of being poorly written. He was chosen by the crystal itself to save those who were becoming demons. Although he was able to rescue countless people, he did it by absorbing the demonic qualities into his body. Eventually he was rejected by the crystal and the summons for being unclean, thrown out by another with Lucian blood (who later would become king and Noctis' ancestor), and he couldn't even find respite in death because the demon inside of him was keeping him immortal. All that's left in him in anger, bitterness, and hatred as he waited for centuries for the crystal to choose another champion that he could enact his revenge upon. It's a solid, good background. Unfortunately Square decided to throw all of this on you through Cosmogony, some notes left on the ground, and a ten-sentence speech by Ardyn. Again, it didn't really hit me when he revealed his true identity because I wasn't reading some of this shit. If Square had played its cards properly and shown glimpses of Ardyn's life he totally would've been a sympathetic villain. Yeah, he's doing wrong in the world and we gotta stop him, but I get where he's coming from. I'd be pissed off too. It also would've been totally cool seeing personally how he played the empire, much like Hojo and Shinra. But nope, we missed all of that shit.

I'm angry because I can see that this would've been a good game. I don't know if I would've ranked it alongside VII or IX, but there was really strong potential there. And I guess I'll never know because Square just fucked it up. Maybe they should've spent less time working on sidequests, which let's be honest takes up about 70% of the game. I'll see how the upcoming episodes are, but I doubt it's gonna change much.

πάντες ἄνθρωποι τοῦ εἰδέναι ὀρέγονται φύσει. σημεῖον δ᾽ ἡ τῶν αἰσθήσεων ἀγάπησις: καὶ γὰρ χωρὶς τῆς χρείας ἀγαπῶνται δι᾽ αὑτάς, καὶ μάλιστα τῶν ἄλλων ἡ διὰ τῶν ὀμμάτων. οὐ γὰρ μόνον ἵνα πράττωμεν ἀλλὰ καὶ μηθὲν μέλλοντες πράττειν τὸ ὁρᾶν αἱρούμεθα ἀντὶ πάντων ὡς εἰπεῖν τῶν ἄλλων. αἴτιον δ᾽ ὅτι μάλιστα ποιεῖ γνωρίζειν ἡμᾶς αὕτη τῶν αἰσθήσεων καὶ πολλὰς δηλοῖ διαφοράς. φύσει μὲν οὖν αἴσθησιν ἔχοντα γίγνεται τὰ ζῷα, ἐκ δὲ ταύτης τοῖς μὲν αὐτῶν οὐκ ἐγγίγνεται μνήμη, τοῖς δ᾽ ἐγγίγνεται.

That's the first lines from Aristotle's Metaphysics. You may look at that and ask, "What the fuck are all those accent marks everywhere? I didn't know Greek had that shit." Yep, it did. Back during the Hellenistic period after Alexander conquered Persia, ancient Greeks realized people who weren't from Greece didn't know where the tones would go and whether they'd rise or fall, so they incorporated them into the writing. However by the Byzantine period a few hundred years later no one was saying them anymore, and nowadays it's pretty much dead. However as an ancient Greek student you're required to learn these arcane rules for where each accent goes and which one it is even though we don't actually know how they were pronounced exactly. I have my gripes for each language — kunyomi/onyomi for Japanese, inconsistent spelling in Old English, French slurring their way through speaking, I still have the vaguest idea of where 了 goes in a sentence in Mandarin — but this one really got to me because it didn't really help me with anything in the end. Why do we insist on continuing to use it?

I really hate using hand dryers in public restrooms. They're loud, they take forever, and at the end my hands are still pretty wet. Whenever I'm forced into using them, I contemplate: How environmentally friendly is this really? Yeah, I'm saving a tree but conversely I'm probably burning coal to generate the power. Without knowing any of the facts, I'm guessing the coal it takes charge a hand dryer is probably less than the decades it takes to regrow a tree (although I don't know how many paper towels are recycled), so it probably works out. But let's go bigger: What about electric cars? I'm assuming those consume a lot of energy. You may not be burning gas in your tank, but the fumes are still being produced by the coal or oil power plant. Until that is taken care of and replaced with wind or solar, are electric cars just a farce?

Before campaigning season began he [Atilla the Hun] decided to add yet another to the long series of his wives. On this occasion his bride was Ildico.... After the wedding Atilla drank far into the night, and when much of the following day had passed and he did not reappear, his servants shouted loudly ouside the door of his room and eventually forced an entry. They found their master dead and his bride weeping beside him, her face covered with her veil. Attila had bled heavily through the nose during the night (as, indeed, he had often done before), and being heavily drunk had been suffocated in his sleep. His body bore no trace of a wound. The Huns were dumbfounded. They cut off their hair and slashed their faces with their swords, so that 'the greatest of all warriors should be mourned with no feminine lamentations and with no tears, but with the blood of men.' ^*

Well, the Huns just got +1000 points to the manliness department. Forget bench pressing, we now have a cultural norm where men around the country bleed themselves so that their leader's passing would not be pussified with girly tears.

E. A. Thompson, The Huns (Malden, MA: Blackwell, 1999): 164-65.

I talked in the last post about the hidden dungeon of Final Fantasy XV, Pitioss. It is... probably the coolest dungeon in the whole game. Seriously we need to find whoever conceived of this dungeon and give him more power over the project. There are no enemies and it's a purely platforming experience, and god knows I'm terrible at such games, but even I had fun because a lot of it is puzzles. Without any sort of text or explanation at all, the creator of Pitioss was able to guide the player through this harrowing yet exciting experience. And wasn't a dick about it; they knew platformers involve you dying a lot so they made instantaneous revival without any sort of bullshit.

Unfortunately Final Fantasy XV isn't a platformer and wasn't made for that. A lot of my mistakes were my own, but many of them were simply because of design flaws. It doesn't have the level of sensitivity you need as you slowly edge your way forward to the edge of a cliff, and probably the most asinine problem is Noctis would often roll at the end of a jump for no goddamned good reason... right off the side. If they fixed that shit, it would've been a truly magical experience.

If you had asked me last November when I bought this game whether Final Fantasy XV has a sidescroll platforming section, I would've thought you were crazy to suggest it. And yet here I am.

Anna sat me down and watch Sherlock for a bit. I find it an interesting take on an old classic, but something really did bother me: In the later seasons you can tell they were throwing in fanservice. See, fans don't make sense, so to cater to them is just an idiotic exercise. If you started off with an idea and plan in your head, do not let fans lead you astray because you'll end up with characters and plot that had very little to do with the original concept. It wasn't horrible in Sherlock, but several people by the beginning of the third season had become what the fandom calls OOC or "out of character," usually a term for acknowledging your imagination got out of control and pretty much the only thing similar between the fan's creation and reality is the appearance and name. It's ironic to say the actual canon itself is out of character.

I find it disgusting I can still find that fanfic almost fifteen years later. Or should I be more disgusted that I remember it?

Warning: Spoilers.

I saw The Lego Batman Movie over the weekend, and there were several characters outside of the DC universe from seemingly unrelated franches. I wondered how much had to paid for rights to use them until I started looking them up.

For example, Voldemort was an important villain in this movie. Lego Batman is done by Warner Bros., which also released the Harry Potter movies.

Sauron was also integral. The Lord of the Rings was distributed by New Line Cinema... which merged with Warner Bros. back in 2008.

King Kong made an appearance. The original 1933 film was made by RKO pictures. After the studio's demise in the 1970s, Turner Broadcasting bought the rights to its intellectual properties, which eventually merged with Time Warner, the parent company of Warner Bros.

The Wicked Witch of the West was also there. The Wizard of Oz is under MGM, but Ted Turner owned a majority share in the comapany for a long time. Many early MGM films entered into his library under Turner Broadcasting thanks to that.

It doesn't account for every appearance in the film; there were Dr. Who villains that are under BBC. But just looking at the sheer amount of work that Time Warner controls, it boggles the mind.

Sneaking isn't really my thing, so I really hate it when a game that does not revolve around that mechanic feels obliged to put it in. Yeah, it mixes up the gameplay a bit, but what I'd appreciate it is if I fuck up repeatedly, they just let me kill everyone.

You may have noticed these signs are replacing the old handicap ones. I read an interview with the designer, and she said she didn't like the image of a person in a wheelchair sitting upright and static; she wanted to project movement so that it gives the subliminal message that handicapped people aren't dead weights. I suppose that's a noble cause and all, but to be honest whenever I see it the image that comes to mind is either the person is suffering from severe constipation or their scoliosis got out of control.

Ken White at Popehat explained much more articulately the point I made last month.

Meanwhile in Final Fantasy XV...

I think it's hilarious how the character sprites are in Final Fantasy VI graphics but their moves are in HD. It's a pretty jarring juxtaposition.

Is it just me, or does it look like Ovelia is giving everyone double deuces?

I've been reading recently many strategies to oppose Trump, and one of them is how to contact your congressman; phone calls are probably the most effective. However as I've said that probably doesn't matter; chances are you're already in an area who voted for Clinton and your Democratic representative was going to stonewall Trump's policies anyway. Let's take the wall built on the Mexican border for example. I call my representative Espaillat and my senators Schumer and Gillibrand and tell them I don't like it. Being Democrats (and one being a Dominican) based in New York, they definitely wouldn't vote for that. And that's the extent of what I can do. However the Democrats are facing a Republican majority in congress and a very, very pro-wall president. If I call one of those Republican congressmen, they're going to tell me to go fuck myself because I'm not their constituent.

As people amass in cities those states get more representatives, but the senate is still two people per state. So conservative Montana gets just as much say in this Mexican wall as liberal California. Honestly if you really want to change policy, you need to make the states more... purple I guess. The cities are digging their heals in with their liberalism just as the countryside is with the conservatism, so that means the people in congress can remain safely on their idealogical side. If you represent a district that is mixed with liberals and conservatives, you're forced to listen to both points of view. For my part, NYS has many conservative enclaves in the rural parts, but NYC overshadows them so much Schumar and Gillibrand will heed the city over everything else. Espaillat being a Dominican would still protest the wall on principle, but even then outside of it this an extremely Democratic district, to the point that Republicans don't even bother campaigning.

What I'm getting at is at the end of the day these hot-button issues are usually decided along party lines, and chances are demographically you're already living in an area surrounded by people who agree with you. Calling their offices aren't going to change shit. If you really, really are emotionally involved in an issue, you have to move to a place that's on the opposite spectrum and then try to influence the congressman that way. Except no one is going to do that because they don't want to have to live near people who disagree with them.

Sorry, still fishing tonight. Tomorrow a long post!

I really wanted one thing from Final Fantasy Record Keeper: To see a Shinra truck hit Palmer after defeating him. I wanted to see that sprite go flying off the side of the screen. But it did not deliver. That dude died like any other boss. My life is now a giant disappointment.

Sorry, too busy fishing in Final Fantasy XV to write a post. Which begs a question: Does the rest of the party seriously just stand around for hours on end as I do this? Don't they ahve lives?

Wait, wait, wait, hold up:

"

"Commander Fistfight" needs to start being a thing.

Oh god.

Rizhall: Yo, son.
Rizhall: So I made like a bunch of tiny paper cranes.
Rizhall: I'm thinking of places I can place them in the house to freak everyone out when they wake up.
dundun: 1. What the fuck is wrong with you?
dundun: 2. Do you guys drink tea or coffee?
Rizhall: Usually tea.
dundun: Leave one in there.
Rizhall: Aight.
dundun: God.
dundun: I remember I made 1000 of those for Ate Neneng and she hung them by her window.
dundun: Then two months later the house burned down.
Rizhall: Shit.
dundun: Never again.
Rizhall: Maybe I should reconsider.

dundun: What's hood.
Rizhall: Son.
Rizhall: Nobody's said anything about the cranes yet.
dundun: r
dundun: No one's found anything
dundun: ?
Rizhall: They've been moved around.
Rizhall: So they're seeing it.
Rizhall: They're just... not saying anything.
dundun: So basically what you're telling me
dundun: Is you do bullshit like this so much that people don't even care anymore?
dundun: "Oh, it's just another one of those toothpicks in a tube things again."

Catholics have "days of obligaiton," i.e. days you must attend Mass, and one of them is the Immaculate Conception. I used to think it was celebrating Gabriel meeting with Mary, but then I realized the feast day was December 8th, so either Jesus was impossibly premature, that was the fastest pregnancy known to man, or Mary was part whale with a gestation period of a year. But no, it's actually the immaculate conception of Mary.

Let's go back to original sin, a doctrine that we are sinful from the moment we're born because of man's sin back in the Garden of Eden. (On my xanga I explained the logic behind this; maybe some day I'll do it again.) Back in the Roman Empire days, Christians didn't think of it as a spiritual blemish on our soul; it was a literal biological thing kinda in our DNA. Augustine wrote about how it's passed through the semen.

For Jesus to be sinless, he needed to make sure none of this original sin blemished him. Well, on the father side he's cool because that's God, but Mary still would contain her own original sin from her father. Nowadays the official church doctrine is God cleansed Mary's soul in the womb (hence she's now "immaculate"), but a long time ago before the Biblical canon was laid down, the Gospel of James mentions that Mary too was born without a father. Not that her mother Anna was a virgin, but because she was childless she prayed to God and suddenly became pregnant. Hence Mary did not receive original sin from her father either.

So much emphasis is put on Jesus' virgin birth that when I first read the Gospel of James it astounded me that there are other fatherless births floating around. I mean, yeah, in other religions there's Athena popping out of Zeus' head or Amaterasu from Izunagi's eye, but in Christianity I feel there should only be one, Jesus. And lots of people agreed with me, which is why the Gospel of James isn't found in the Bible today. It was simply too problematic. And this was a mild gospel comepared to the others in the apocrypha; at least there wasn't any crazy Gnostic theology in there.

Sorry, was writing a long post and realized I had no time to finish it tonight, so you get this:

...I should probably finish up Final Fantasy XV at least before I start Tales of Berseria... but there's so much fishing to be done...

You probably have heard of Elizabeth I of England, the Virgin Queen. And you may wonder why she decided to remain unmarried for most of her life, but you just have to look around her. The 1500s was an interesting time because there were many women in high positions of power, and it demonstrated to her the problem with marriage: Although a woman may be a monarch, at that time being a submissive wife took priority. Let's take her older half-sister, Mary. Her reign was only five years long, but it was a fucking disaster. She decided to marry a foreigner, Philip II of Spain. He got into some wars with France, and being his wife Mary was expected to join in on it. The whole affair was a fiasco and in the process England lost its last territory in continental Europe, Calais, as well as a shit ton of money. Money that Elizabeth was still paying off well into her own reign.

Then there as Elizabeth's cousin, Queen Mary of Scotland. She decided to marry someone local, Henry Stuart.^* Unfortunately because he didn't have his own crown to fall back on for power, he kept on trying to usurp hers. She spent years trying to fend him off as he plotted literal rebellions against her, even murdering her secretary right in her presence. And eventually she did lose her crown and spent the rest of her life in imprisonment in England.

On the other hand, there was Catherine de Medici, Queen Mother of France. She lived through three of her sons' reigns and was essentially running the country during most of it because they were too young to rule in their own right. However until her husband Henry II died in a tournament, she was out of favor since he couldn't stop sleeping with so many mistresses. In fact he had one favorite in particular, Diane de Poitiers, who was the most powerful woman in France. It was only with the death of the king that Catherine was able to take control.

For a woman who spent so much of her life insecure — her mother executed and she became a bastard, her half-sister imprisoning her — it's understandable Elizabeth avoided marriage. She flirted with the idea several times, but ultimately her head probably told her it wasn't worth it. That's why she was able to remain a prominent figure throughout her life since she didn't have to share jack shit with anyone. And even today that remains somewhat the same: Elizabeth II's husband was not given the title of king, but remains merely as Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh.

^* OK, yeah, Stuart was actually English. But he decided to stick around in Scotland and after the marriage never returned to his homeland.

Sorry, busy tonight: