Getting the beams in our living room ceiling has been kind of a bitch because it's not mass produced anymore and is expensive to get a solid chunk of wood like that. Our contractor managed to find a woman who basically disassembles old farmhouses in the tri-state area and sells the parts, and she came to our neighbor's house to look at their beams and assess whether she could gather the materials and the labor. She even sent over samples of different types of wood, how different types of stain look on them, and how she would achieve that chiseling effect you can see in the picture. We spent quite some time debating about our choices before finally selecting a dark oak, and then we waited for her to send over the beams.

Well, it turns out she's a con artist, and she ran off with the down payment. There's been several other people who've been duped by her as well, so I have no idea how she's still running around considering she's already been involved with a sting operation. But my question is this: Who the fuck is a beam con artist? It's such a weird thing. Stolen art, okay. Insurance polices, fine. But beams? That's probably why it's so brilliant; who the fuck would suspect a beam supplier?