OK, Arkham City time.

The first thing I noticed was combat improved significantly. Whereas before I would be shitting my pants facing a group of eight in Arkham Asylum, here it’s not a particularly difficult problem. That’s not to say Batman can mow down crowds, but getting caught during sneaking isn’t the game-stopping problem as before. There’s also the bonus that they split the health bar between bullet damage and melee damage, which gives you major breathing room.

The second thing is a confession: I am willing to play a shitty game if the environment is interesting. Assassin’s Creed has a nonsensical plot, boring characters, but goddamn do I love climbing all over Florence cathedral so I’m willing to tolerate it. The great thing about Arkham City is it has the interesting environment with the added bonus of being a good game.

The city itself is a broken-down slum, but the developers were able to create nuances in the neighborhoods that if you plopped me down anywhere on the map I could instantly tell what area I’m in. The smoke stacks towered over the Industrial District, whereas you can see the faded, beaux-arts of the Bowery. Quite possibly my favorite section was the train station, seeing that massive glass dome like it was NYC’s closed City Hall Station. Fucking beautiful. Runner up was the museum just because of Penguin’s fucked-up displays, and pressing all the buttons as he narrates like some demented tour guide.

Batman was still pretty dumb. A political prisoner approached him and said someone was actively after him, and Batman thought it was time to have a conversation. Well guess what? Dude got shot in the head two seconds later. It’s not as bad as Asylum, but a little disappointing. I did appreciate how he investigates crime scenes in this game and tries to gather evidence, particularly in the Deadshot and Hush sidequests.

In terms of plot, it’s good but I think not as solid as Asylum’s. While playing there was always a part of me that felt incredulous any municipality would abandon an entire island to be an open-air prison. I mean, they’ve done weird shit like this in the comics too, but I complained then as well. I do not remember this whole Cobblepot/Wayne connection, but maybe that was added in later comics (I kinda stopped reading c.2000). And if I had to guess what the test would be to lead the League of Assassins, gliding through a desert just seems silly.

Baddies in here are Two Face, Penguin, Solomon Grundy, Harley Quin, Joker, Ra’s and Talia al Ghul, Bane, Mad Hatter, Hush, Poison Ivy, Clayface, Calendar Man, Zsasz, Deadshot, Riddler, and Hugo Strange, but you never actively fight more than half of these. I’m thinking the game didn’t want you battling the same baddie from the previous game (except for Ivy and Joker), but it led to some unsatisfying endings. Like, seriously, we just put Bane behind a gate and he’s trapped? That’s it? Dude is one of the most physically strong characters in the Batman universe and he can’t fucking rip that shit open?

Also, I want you to look at that list and guess which one is the final boss. Would you have chosen Clayface because I never would have.

Of course Conroy and Hamil were amazing, but I am gonna give a shoutout to whoever did Strange and Mad Hatter because that was amazing.

Riddler was so extra here that I’m beginning to think he’s the best villain in the Arkham universe. I mean, how was he able to get into all these locations and set up platforms and pressure switches? And he knew Strange put on the batsuit and cried while looking in the mirror? Dude has some skills. He also forced me to get skills of my own because holy shit some of these puzzles were ridiculously difficult. Not in terms of brain, but in terms of hand-eye coordination. I would spend fifteen minutes on one sometimes. And it was worth it because those concept arts were so absolutely gorgeous that I bought an art book for this game. One complaint I have is the Riddler trophies were really distracting visually; I would be in detective mode and all I can see are these green platforms and such.

The Catwoman sections were aight, but not amazing. I’d prefer to go back to Batman, but they weren’t insufferable. Playing as Robin post game was really exciting and it was super funny seeing he drew the explosive gel with an R instead of a bat.

But you know what I think is the best part of this game? Whoever wrote the dialogue for the regular baddies deserves all the money. Holy shit, I would just spend hours perched up high and listening to them talk amongst themselves. It is some of the funniest shit ever. I thought the quips and such were good in Spider-Man, but oh man Arkham City took it to a whole other level.

The funny thing is after writing paragraphs talking about how I liked this game, I still prefer Asylum. These two games were going for different feelings--City more action, Asylum more horror--and I think although City is a superior game in every way, Asylum just hits you more viscerally.