When I was a girl, I had a doll named Booty. It was just any regular plastic toy with fake synthetic hair you can get from any dollar store, but I loved it more than anything else. So much so that I wrote a whole book about her. I mean a literal fucking book that was at least a 150-page compilation of short stories involving her and her friends like Groobee, Loobee, Bootà, and Sienfeld. It surprisingly survived the fire, although it's heavily charred and the ink bled from the firefighters' water, but it's still legible. To give you a taste of the stupid, stupid shit an eleven- and five-year-old can produce together, I present you one of them:

(Note: This originally came with illustrations and comments in the header and footer, which I cannot reproduce here.)
(Second note: Spelling and grammatical errors were not edited out.)

Booty in:
Mobil
(created by the Booty Story Foundation of Canada © 1987-2008)

Booty was a good girl. She was at home playing video games. Riva came home. Riva said, "Hey Booty" Booty said, "Yup." Riva said, "What are you doing?" Booty said, "I'm killing the enemies." Riva said, "You're so violent." Booty said, "Yup" Riva said, "Well ok then" Booty said, "I want a new game." Riva said, "Well I'm not going to pay for your violent games." Booty said, "That's too bad. They're important to my development as a person." Riva said, "Go Get a Job and buy it yourself." Booty said, "I have better things to do." Riva left the house

Act 2 Scene 3.1434

Booty was at home playing video games. Riva came in. Riva said, "I got you a job at the Mobil Gas Station®." Booty said, "I told you I didn't want a job." Riva said, "Well, Groobee is your manger now." Booty said, "Groobee is 1, how can he be a manager?" Riva said, "Well he's got a bottle"

Booty in: Mobil Act 1 Scene 0.1

Booty was walking to her new job. When she got there, she stepped on a rubber hose.

DING

A little bell sounded. Booty stepped on it again.

DING

Booty started stepping on the bell repeatedly.

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING

Groobee screamed, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE SUPPOSSED TO HELP CUSTOMERS, NOT SCARE THEM AWAY!!!"
Booty continued to jump on the rubber thingy.

DING DING "SHUT" DING "UP" DING DING DING

Groobee began to start shoving Booty

DING "SHUT UP" DING DING "SHUT" DING <Shove> "UP" DING DING DING <shove> DING DING DING "SHUT UP" DING DING DING

Just then the mayor drove into the station. He said, "I'm here to check the safety of this station." Booty said, "SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE." She started jumping on the rubber hose again. Groobee said, "Welcome sir, as you can see we have the highest quality workers here." The mayor said, "Yes I can tell." Booty continued to jump on the hose. The mayor said, "What is that person doing?" Groobee said, "Well sir. I believe that she's jumping on the hose." The Mayor said, "Well ok." Booty grabbed the hose and started to bite it. Booty said, "Do you have my uniform ready?"? Groobee said, "Yup" Booty put on her suit.

Booty was sure she liked her new job. She got a new hat and a gas pump. She waited for her first customer. A minivan came up. Booty said, "Hello sir, how can I help you?" the man said, "Can I have some gas?" Booty said, "Well. I dont know how to pump the gas, but I can step on the dingy thing for you." The Man said, "Well, that would be just as good." Booty started jumping on the ding thing.

DING DING DING DING DING

Groobee walked over to the minivan. He said, "Sir, what do you want." The man said, "Well some gas would be good, but this is nice anyway." G®ooßéè said, "Well alright then." Another car came up. Groobee said, "What do you want sir?" The man said, I want some air and gas." Groobee got the air hose and handed it to the man, and began pumping gas into the side of the car. Groobee said, "See another happy customer." Booty said, "Yes. This is hard work."
The jungle continued to walk.

Gato came to the Mobil station. He said, "I want to ding the bell myself, Booty" Booty handed him the dingy hose. He began to punch it. Another car came into the station. The man in it said, "Well, could you please ring the bell for me Booty?" Booty said, "Well, the hose for the bell is already being used, but I'll jump on the air hose for you." The man said, "Well, whatever."

Booty jumped on the air hose.

FFT FFT FFT FFT FFT FFT

Gato continued to punch the bell.

DING DING DING DING

FFT DING FFT DING FFT DING FFT DING

Groobee came out and said, "How could I help you sir?" The man said, "Well I have a stomach ache." Groobee said, "Well, this is a Mobil Gas Station®." The man said, "um so what." Groobee said, "Well you don't normally go to a gas station when you have a stomach ache." The man said, "Well I have a stomach ache." Groobee said, "Well you could try biting my gas pump if you think it will help." The Man said, "Well sure." Booty continued to jump on the air hose. Booty jumped on the air hose so hard it poped. The whole O-Zone started to get sucked into the air hose.
yup.