There's currently a rape trial in New Hampshire about a then-high school senior who was in a competition about who could have the sex with most girls. Honestly this would not be news whatsoever if the school weren't so prestigious, but there were some interesting points in the trial. The girl was aware the mechanical room they were in was known for making out and having sex, and she contends she believed they were only doing the former and said no to sex thrice. The accused denies this and said she was willing throughout the whole encounter.

New Hampshire apparently has a more flexible law code involving rape because in most states this would not even come to trial because no real show of force was involved. Many people are commenting this does not reflect modern reality, i.e. many women do not struggle because they're fearful to being attacked or that they still go along with it even though they've voiced their opinion.

Although I'm sympathetic to women who are in that situation, I can understand why many prosecutors are hesitant to bring such cases to trial. In this society, the onus of proving guilt is on the accuser beyond a reasonable doubt, and unfortunately rape can be very difficult to prove. Outside of being kidnapped or drugged, a conversation in the bedroom is hard to validate, particularly when consent is often ascertained through body language or visual cues. For example, the girl in this rape case agrees that she lifted her arms and hips to allow herself to be stripped easier. If she did say no several times throughout the incident, that's a pretty mixed message right there.

I agree that there is a lot of victim-blaming when it comes to rape, but there's also the reality of the situation: It's really hard to prove a case about an oral agreement, whether it's rape or even a financial deal. It's not like we're going to start handing out forms for men and women to produce and sign right before sex to assure everyone is consenting. So until then my only advice is for women to do everything they can to show they were not willing: be firm during the process about what boundaries you want to set and if you're worried about being hurt during it, go to the police immediately afterward to demonstrate this was not something you wanted.