GLITTER

Fuck that shit. Yeah, it looks pretty and all, but when I have to handle it myself I suddenly find myself looking like a dollar hooker with it smeared all over my body. And it seems to be the in thing because now I'm scouring around for Christmas presents and glitter is all over that shit. Before most of our ornaments were actually made of wood or glass. Glass balls are still around... if they're painted with glitter. And that's what I'm getting because it's what I'm finding over and over at stores. Oh, don't get me wrong; these ornaments look absolutely gorgeous. It's just all over my hands and body and clothing and hair... I'm only guessing what'll happen when we put them into storage. We open the box next year and see a layer of glitter at the bottom whilst the ornaments themselves are completely bare.

Seriously though, why the hell is it so difficult to find wood ornaments?