Me: Son, this lemon Sanpellegrino genuinely tastes awful.
Me: Oh shit, wrong person.
Me: Oh well, whatever.
Me: It tastes awful and don't ever drink it.
Me: What's good with you.
Reggie: yo
Reggie: lemon san pellegrino
Reggie: is not too bad
Reggie: but the orange one is a lot better
Reggie: so I half agree
Me: YO, BLOOD ORANGE IS THE SHIT.
Me: SO FUCKING GOOD.
Me: That's why I'm disappointed with this lemon one.
Reggie: yeah blood orange is pretty amazing
Reggie: yeah that I can see
Me: The chasm between the blood orange and the lemon is as great as I can imagine.
Reggie: the blood orange sets such a high standard
Reggie: that the lemon being average makes it feel worse than it is
Reggie: I dont know if they have any other flavors
Reggie: do they?
Me: Yeah, my deli likes stocking them. There's orange, pomegranate, and I wanna say pear too.
Reggie: whoah
Reggie: you tried the others?
Me: Nah, I just see them each time I go in. They have them in boxes near the cash register.
Me: My mom usually buys blood orange, but this week she actually got the lemon and.... god, I actually had to throw it out.
Reggie: lol damn
Reggie: I never seen those others ones though, pls try them?
Reggie: and give me your report?
Me: Oh god.
Me: All right.
Me: I can imagine it though:
Me: Day 1: This shit is still not as good as blood orange.
Me: Day 2: Jesus, I wish this were blood orange.
Me: Day 3: I probably shouldn't've started this journey with blood orange. Best for last, son.
Reggie: lol
Reggie: thats how I do it too
Me: Man, I didn't even know. I just drank whatever mom brought home.
Me: I thought they'd be of equal quality.
Me: Clearly I was wrong.
Reggie: lol your expectations clash with reality.
Me: Surely Sanpellegrino has an R&D department. They should just up their game. They've won in the blood orange department, but there's no competition there. If they can win the lemon market, they're basically ruling the world here.
Reggie: lol
Reggie: maybe they held back
Reggie: because they didnt want such a responsibility
Me: Such power corrupts, but they're also withheld great satisfaction to tastebuds the world over. Such a waste.
Reggie: with great power
Reggie: comes bad lemon juice

I can't believe I actually went on that quest and tried every flavor. Grapefruit and clementine aren't that bad! Not as good as blood orange, but I wouldn't turn my nose up to it.