Harlan: Wait, Orthodox women wear wigs? Why?
Me: Because there's a rule in the Bible that you have to cover your hair. Israel's in the Middle East; it's like the Virgin Mary covering her hair.
Mom: You Jews, do you find hair erotic?
Dad: It's just a rule.
Mom: (starts shaking her hair at dad) Do you find this sexy? Ooooooooo! Does this turn you on?