Let the marathon begin.

(I'm gonna do it again once the extended version for Battle of the Five Armies is released.)

(You know I've never marathoned Harry Potter? Weird.)

Huh.

I remember this whole Uchiha back story came out right around Harlan's graduation in upstate New York, where I didn't have a steady internet connection. Bill Clinton was the commencement speaker, and never more in my life did I want him to shut up so I could finish this whole ordeal and get a computer.

That's how many kids were in Naruto's class? I'm impressed that idiot was able to beat all those kids and actually become a ninja considering he didn't even know what chakra was when the series began.

I really like these shots of characters' bedrooms because it gives a little window on the daily lives outside of all the fighting. For example, I now know people in the Naruto universe have televisions in their rooms. I wonder what programs ninja kids enjoy watching? Swat Cats?

God, that is still terrible years later.

What happens to Naruto during these sequences? He's definitely conscious and the dominant personality, but Kyuubi is influencing him in some way. Like, it's not natural for him to be in that position, it's Kyuubi who's doing that. Is the chakra itself physically pushing him into that position? Does Naruto realize he's relinquishing some control?

Dammit Sasuke, only you could acquire something cool like wings and then fuck it up by making them really hideous and bizarre looking and completely useless.

People disliked this fight because up to this point, a lot of Naruto depended on trickery and strategy in an attempt to remain a ninja manga. Yeah, you have people like Lee or Gaara who just fight head on, but the battles were still interesting because it wasn't just a clash of muscle and people had to think their way through. This one wasn't. It was just powering up and powering up, which was particularly disappointing because it's the climax of the arc.

Isn't it everyone's?

Everyone thought Zetsu was freaky when he first appeared, and it's nice to know he remained that way.

Oh shit, I forgot about the time an alchemy circle saved Neji's life.

He'd probably say something along the lines of, "Don't worry about it, I'm going to create this secret society to collect these giant creatures so that I can summon this moon to make everything better."

Hmmm... it took me a bit to be able to identify people here. I think from left to right it's Kisame, Kakuzu, Konan, either Itachi or Hidan, Deidara, Sasori, either Itachi or Hidan, Nagato, and Zetsu.

Man, remember when we saw that "part 1 completed" and wondered how many parts there'd be? I wonder if Kishimoto originally had something planned beyond just the two.

I've unlocked all the recipes in Cooking Mama 4, so I suppose that counts as beating it even if it's not 100% yet. We all know what it's about by this point, but they have added a few features. The first is instead of using only the touchpad, the player can now employ the L/R buttons, directional pad, motion sensor, microphone, and circle pad. It's actually a mystery which one is necessary, and you get a gold magnifying glass for figuring out. To be honest it's a useless addition but thankfully is completely optional (only needed for 100%). However what's particularly annoying is they wanted to exploit the 3D feature and now upon making a mistake, you'll be forced to watch a ten-second animation of a bowl flying to the upper screen, smacking Mama in the face, and then tumbling back down as you think to yourself, "Oh Jesus, come on already."

Cooking Mama 2 remains my favorite in though for this one fact: The series was still challenging. Between the second and third installment they realized the demographic for the game was little girls and decided to pussify everything. I made so many mistakes that would not fly in the first two games yet I received a perfect score. I remember nearly weeping in frustration as I rode the train during my morning commute because I could not filet this fish to Mama's satisfaction in 2, but now I can miss half of the muffins she tosses at me and no one gives a shit. I'm still gonna buy this shit because that's what I do as a fan, it's just..... eh. Well, I've made poorer decisions like with Tales of Legendia or Tales of Symphonia 2.

There's nothing quite as motivating and uplifting when your mother says in a very sarcastic voice, upon being told the cross stitch project you're working on is a battle between a wolf and a snake from a video game, "Oh, I'm certain that's going to come out terrific. That's going to be great." Thanks mom.

Man, you people need to stop being so suspicious when I ask for your home address. I just like my address book to be filled with information, that's all. And I need it for when I send out invitations. It's not like I'm going to appear on your front steps to dildoize you or something.

I forgot Tayuya could summon these guys. I thought summoned beasts were animals, not creepy fuckers with chakra-absorbing ghosts. Man, signing that contract probably required more than blood.

Wouldn't that hurt him too though? Like, Kiba stabbing himself had an averse effect, so I'm assuming destroying Kiba's proteins and crap would do the same.

This moment was completely surprising for me because we as readers hadn't made as much connection with Kiba. Everyone else on the team, including Chouji, we've gotten a better grasp on their personality and back story more than Kiba. The most screen time he's gotten is his fight with Naruto. So I didn't expect him to be capable of thinking of this move, and that he'd do it immediately without deliberation.

Okay, props to Shikamaru, he's smart as shit, but I'm sorry. It's not that impressive to figure out your flute is what's controlling these fuckers.

Sasuke, you fucking drama queen. Also, how did he know where to go? It's not like he knows the location of Orochimaru's base. Unless that barrel somehow gave him that information.

I remember screaming with delight when I came to this page, so much my dad came downstairs to find out what was wrong.

I don't think I've ever heard someone of our age say "Dutch courage" aloud. It's nice to know even non-official translations employ odd phrases. Also, points for using Dutch courage completely incorrectly.

This is the same chapter as above, so I'm assuming it's the same translator who doesn't know what he's doing. Who is the we in "our?" There's Tayuya. Also, after being hit by a skilled attack, who in the world thinks, "She is my destined enemy." You'd say, "She's hard to beat." It's making me wonder whether the translator is even a native English speaker. Although people complain about stuff like "Valentine Technique," and they rightfully should, it's not like fan shit is always accurate either.

Jesus fuck, Kiba, you have every right to have that expression. Christ, that was horrifying. And Kankurou is, what, fourteen at the time?

I've seen varying opinions of Kishimoto's simplistic art style, but you have to give props to his backgrounds. That man does not skimp on it, which I've seen plenty of mangaka do.

If you've played Chrono Trigger, you probably remember Ayla spoke in incorrect English ("Me Ayla!") to demonstrate the extent of her primitiveness. Actually the opposite is true; the more simple the society, the more complex the morphology tends to be. As a civilization modernizes, it tends to shed the many complicated aspects of the language. Take Latin and Spanish for example: Latin has a declension system that allows a speaker flexibility. Spanish lost that, and now like English parts of speech are dictated by a word's position in a sentence. Or look at English itself: Not only does Old English also have a declension system, it also had genders (masculine, feminine, and neuter) that are almost completely nonexistent today. So each time I see a caveman incapable of producing a complete sentence, I just giggle because god knows I'm happy nowadays we don't say a tree is a masculine noun or a gift is a feminine because that's what that caveman should be saying.

I should probably give this to dad, but he seems incapable of figuring something out on his own. I think there are two types of people who deal with technology: Those who have a set path memorized ("go to start, then programs, then Microsoft Word") and those who have at least have an inkling about the design and structure. I'm not going to proclaim myself as a tech wizard, but upon being given a new device I usually can produce any of the functions and do basic tech support if something goes wrong (with the advice of friends if it gets too complicated; thank you Kilkenny, Devin, and Franklin). But for people who just memorize things, any sort of upset in the pattern destroys everything ("why is there no more Microsoft Word under programs?"), and that's particularly frustrating with Netflix because the interface is different depending on the device. In such a situation I just follow that flowchart right there, and that doesn't seem to be extraordinarily complex, which is why I'm surprised it does for others. Certainly better than twenty years ago before the advent of the internet, when any help to be had was through manuals that could be outdated. If it were something of a higher level, like say trying to repair an OS, then yeah I'd be more understanding. But not being able to change seasons of the TV on Netflix when literally there's a "return" button on the remote, which leads to a option "more episodes" ... I just wish I could teach mom and dad to be more exploratory, which is how I learned tech, but I don't know how.

Then again, it'd probably end up with something like this:

Yeah, sorry, I forgot last week. So you get two this week.

I used to own this nightcap, but it always fell off within three seconds of lying down. Why the hell did people ever use those?

Yeah, it'll just take a few years. And a lot of blood, sweat, and tears.

So they threw him in there to achieve a higher level seal (I'm assuming that's why he could transform), but later we find out it's just enzymes taken from Juugo, so how the hell does this barrel help that?

I forgot a bunch of jounins tangled with the Sound Four before Shikamaru and the others caught up. That's kinda embarrassing because these guys seemed so badass in the last arc, and now they can't do shit.

I was actually pretty disappointed with Naruto right here. He knew what it's like to be rejected and belittled, and he did it to Chouji.

Although the butterfly thing was cool, it was kinda weird because it had no sort of previous association. It'd make more sense with Shino because he's the bug guy. I guess because Chouji's a caterpillar coming out of his cocoon here?

Naruto, you fucking do the attack while he's distracted. Before he realizes something's wrong and you're not actually stuck in the web.

I was already grossed that all of his attacks were spit-based, but when I found out sweat was part of the equation, I just wanted this fight to end. Thank god we never got to the semen.

Oh Neji.

Those quotation marks are mad weird because it makes it seem like Kimimaro is some sort of initiation ceremony or something instead of a person.

This is another one of those possible plots I thought was gonna go somewhere but didn't. Like the released clan would join up with Naruto down the line to bring Orochimaru down.

If you remember the first episode of the original 1982 Macross series, the narrator explained when the fortress crashed into earth, the world erupted into a civil war between the UN and Anti-UN forces. After these two sentences, the series began without mention of this ever again. I would've liked to delve into that a bit more since it's an interesting concept, and when I found out Macross Zero was a prequel, I was delighted since this was my chance. Except the show wasn't what I was expected. Oh, it is about that civil war... but instead it focuses on a pilot who crash lands in the first episode on a primitive island and pretty much revolves around the inhabitants' religion. Every now and then there's a nod to the outside world, but about 60%-70% of the show is just in this isolated setting. It's rather bizarre because I'd imagine the formula would be easy to understand: Have a gun-wrenching OVA about civil war that stretches across the whole planet with brother fighting brother, starvation amongst the people, and suffering to be found all around. It would be compelling. Instead I had to watch this fool wandering around the tropics and listening to this Luddite idiot becoming hysterical about any introduction of modern technology.

But I think what really upset me was the "proto-culture" theory propagated by the scientists. Humans aren't supposed to know about that shit; it's only after coming into contact with the Zentradi do they learn the relationship between humanity and aliens. Don't retcon this already mismanaged series.

So I entered expecting a tragic story and lots of robot fights, but instead I got a polytheistic religion and a naked woman singing in a pond. ...Okay, the last part is in line with Macross. But still, I definitely wasn't prepared for Focker to suddenly bat for the other side:

I've noticed the word "racism" thrown around the Harry Potter fandom, which isn't really accurate. Prejudice is prejudice, whether it has to do with religion, race, nationality, sex, or age. It's just because the discrimination expressed in Harry Potter doesn't exist in our world, we don't have a word for it. There's no racial problems ever mentioned in the series. Harry likes a Chinese girl and goes on a date with an Indian girl, Lee Jordan's and Dean Thomas' best friends are white, and there's at least once black kid I can think of off the top of my head who's in Sytherin. It's about who has the old blood and who doesn't. That has nothing to do with race. People like Voldemort don't give a shit if you're Middle Eastern, white, or Native American, so long as your family's been magical for generations without touching those non-magical barbarians. I guess we could say "Mugglebornism," although that sounds terrible. "Magicism?"

I detailed the complete shitfest that is the Roman calendar system back on xanga, and if you've forgotten all you need to know is it's not the easiest method to calculate the date. Thankfully there are websites on the internet that can do it for me, and today, March 15th, instead of the usual day in Latin all I saw was this:

BEWARE

My German professor's hobby is traveling, so he always has interesting stories to tell. My favorite though is his college professor at John Hopkins, Kendall Myers. He noticed a man would often drop off cigars for Myers, whether it be at his office or in the classroom. It wasn't until years later that my German professor learned Myers was actually a Cuban spy and these were gifts from Castro himself. God, why the hell can't my teachers be that interesting?

I got these awesome coasters of Nintendo consoles modeled as Megaman enemies. It's really cool, but I know I'll never get a Sega counterpart. Everyone knows I'm a Nintendo lover, but I also love Sega and it's disappointing that you never see it represented to the same level. Yeah, Nintendo won out in the end, but it's not like Sega produced shit. Quite the opposite actually! Look at the Nintendo 64 versus the Dreamcast! How the hell can you even compare the two? I guess Sega didn't have as marketable of a cast as Nintendo — Sonic alone can't compare to Mario, Zelda, Donkey Kong or Metroid — so it's harder to market nostalgia, but still that doesn't mean ignore it entirely! Give me my Masters, Genesis, Saturn, and Dreamcast coasters!

Honestly, I'm too fucking happy that I can fucking finally see soil under all this snow that I don't feel like soliloquizing about anything else.

http://harukami.tumblr.com/post/113202265413/how-to-discuss-race-with-black-people-faq-pt-1

I laughed when I read this post because it was so ridiculous, but my favorite was "racism = bias + power." You can make up any definition you want for a word to create your own viewpoint, but no one is going to understand what you're talking about. I guess for this person when a black person calls a Chinese person "an ugly chink" or when an Asian calls a Hispanic "a dumb spik," it's not racism. That's just bias.

Also, is the "white opinions don't matter because you're not the one being prejudiced against" what the Israelis use? "Yeah, we've gone through hell for thousands of years, culminating in the massacre of millions of our people, and we face it everyday as shown with the recent shootings in Denmark and France, so Palestinians you need to shut the fuck up for a while so we can finally live in peace."

In practically every language class I've taken, I've noticed students have problems with the imperative tense. Part of the issue is I believe students see this complex-looking grammatical term and freak out, plus language books don't really explain how we use it in English well. The imperative is defined as an order, although it's a bit more complex than that. In English, we demonstrate it by dropping the subject and just using the verb: "Do the dishes after we're done eating." "If you're so worried about that rash, go to the doctor." You can see the difference between those two sentences: One sounds like a parent ordering a child, the other a friend giving suggesting something to a friend. You have to gauge the situation to realize the tone.

The imperative in French is very similar to English, both in construction and in usage. One of the students in my class was having problems with differentiating this from other methods of expressing advice (e.g., "go to the doctor" vs. "you must go to the doctor" vs. "you really oughta go to the doctor"), so I tried to walk her through it. I was expecting this sort of disconnect and thought as a native English speaker, once she'd realize it's just like how we speak everything would slip into place. I started off by giving some examples, "The imperative is more forceful. It's like when your mother says, 'Go to your room.'" She turned to me and said, "I don't understand. In our house, that's not an order. We don't do that in my house."

There was a pause as I tried to digest this. You seriously cannot conceive of a situation in which a parent is laying down the law and telling the kid to do something without complaint. It reminded me of something I read in The New York Times, in which a mother said, "Don't give your child options. Just tell them what to do." My dad pulls the same thing — "wouldn't it be nice if someone dried the chairs outside?" — and that just agitates the shit out of me because it sounds passive aggressive. But even my father can imagine someone in some universe saying, "Dry the chairs." What the hell kind of household do you live in where even that doesn't seem like an option? And in all seriousness, why are parents doing this? I know there's a movement in which parents try to respect their children as an individual, but you're the fucking parent here. Yeah, there are times when you'll give the kid choices, like asking what do you want to eat or do you want to go to the movies or play in the park, but if you want something done, the kid should know it needs to be done. No questions asked.

This was just stupid. I know it's a setup because the reader would think it's Kabuto attacking when in reality it's Jiraiya, but it doesn't make any sense. Why the hell would you ever throw a kunai at someone when you want to catch their attention, especially when you're drugged and may miss? Why the hell don't you just say, "Wait Shizune!" like Jiraiya's doing right afterward?

Twelve years later, I still remember the line "did it not penetrate deep enough because of her fat breasts?" verbatim.

I always thought Gamanatsu was cuter than Gamakichi, which is why I was disappointed that Gamakichi was usually the one to appear.

I thought Kishimoto would go somewhere with this, that Tsunade would keep using this move and eventually die prematurely, but she survived to the end of the series.

I never got this. Tsunade and later Sakura's strength isn't derived from muscle, but in reality it's chakra that has a high burst and destroys whatever the fist comes into contact with. Hence they shouldn't be able to physically pick up a large item like that, just push or explode it.

And so it begins.

You are so, so wrong Kakashi.

How the hell did Rock Lee ever pass the Ninja Academy? If Naruto couldn't because he couldn't produce a henge, why could Lee?