In practically every language class I've taken, I've noticed students have problems with the imperative tense. Part of the issue is I believe students see this complex-looking grammatical term and freak out, plus language books don't really explain how we use it in English well. The imperative is defined as an order, although it's a bit more complex than that. In English, we demonstrate it by dropping the subject and just using the verb: "Do the dishes after we're done eating." "If you're so worried about that rash, go to the doctor." You can see the difference between those two sentences: One sounds like a parent ordering a child, the other a friend giving suggesting something to a friend. You have to gauge the situation to realize the tone.

The imperative in French is very similar to English, both in construction and in usage. One of the students in my class was having problems with differentiating this from other methods of expressing advice (e.g., "go to the doctor" vs. "you must go to the doctor" vs. "you really oughta go to the doctor"), so I tried to walk her through it. I was expecting this sort of disconnect and thought as a native English speaker, once she'd realize it's just like how we speak everything would slip into place. I started off by giving some examples, "The imperative is more forceful. It's like when your mother says, 'Go to your room.'" She turned to me and said, "I don't understand. In our house, that's not an order. We don't do that in my house."

There was a pause as I tried to digest this. You seriously cannot conceive of a situation in which a parent is laying down the law and telling the kid to do something without complaint. It reminded me of something I read in The New York Times, in which a mother said, "Don't give your child options. Just tell them what to do." My dad pulls the same thing — "wouldn't it be nice if someone dried the chairs outside?" — and that just agitates the shit out of me because it sounds passive aggressive. But even my father can imagine someone in some universe saying, "Dry the chairs." What the hell kind of household do you live in where even that doesn't seem like an option? And in all seriousness, why are parents doing this? I know there's a movement in which parents try to respect their children as an individual, but you're the fucking parent here. Yeah, there are times when you'll give the kid choices, like asking what do you want to eat or do you want to go to the movies or play in the park, but if you want something done, the kid should know it needs to be done. No questions asked.