Tonight when I put my neighbors' kids to bed and asked them what they wanted for a bedtime story, they replied they wanted The Legend of Zelda. All of it. They want every single detail. And I stood there, immobile, trying to figure out how the fuck I was expected to smash about thirty years' worth of plot into a fifteen-minute story. Even if I just chose one like Ocarina, I'd still be fucked.

Either way, I'm kinda proud that was the first thing on their minds.