Mom's friend: For Lent I'm only eating sweets three times a week.
Me: Oh, I'm sure Jesus would love that. Forty days out in the dessert, and you're only eating sweets three times a week.
Mom's friend: I also gave up chocolate!
Me: Yeah, Jesus must've been thinking when he resisted the Devil: Thank goodness in the future people will remember this by not eating chocolate.
Mom's friend: Oh, be quiet.