As I watched The Hobbit over the years, I could see Hollywood's footprints all over it. I already knew there had to be heavy editing considering it's a 275-page book and they spit out just as many movies as The Lord of the Rings, over 1000 pages, and oftentimes I could easily sense the additions since they were not of the same caliber as Tolkien's original writings. I read The Hobbit over the weekend and... wow, that was a very different adventure. That's not to say The Lord of the Rings wasn't different from the books — clearly they cut a ton of shit out to pile that epic into a couple of hours — but this was virtually unrecognizable from the original.

Let's begin with additions. You know who didn't show up in the book?

Yeah, him! They literally only mentioned him once in passing. Imagine all those times they were fleeing from him. None of that shit happened. He actually died in the battle of Moria that they mentioned in the first movie. In the book, the first time goblins pop up... Oh wait, first, let me explain that. There is no difference between goblins and orcs; It's just hobbits refer to them as "orcs" and everyone else says "goblins." So remember those crazy goblins that they met in the first movie where Bilbo fell and got the ring? Those are the fuckers in the final battle. That whole thing with armies coming out of the Necromancer's keep, that shit didn't happen either. Actually, the Necromancer never makes an appearance. It's literally just those goblins they met in the cave that are still pissed off about the whole incident coming to attack, led by this fucker Bolg:

I barely fucking remembered this dude, and he's the top dog! Unlike other additions that increase the total time, this one doesn't make any sense to me. Why replace Bolg with Azog when you already have a good story right there? Bolg is pissed that his father was killed Azog was killed at Moria; you can turn his story into a revenge quest against Thorin instead of Azog's revenge quest for his lost arm.

Here're other people who didn't show up:

Yeah, these two fuckers. Right away when watching this I knew they weren't in the book. The way they were just jammed in felt just like Mari in Evangelion: unnatural and forced. That is amazing considering what an important part they played in the movies, with Tauriel's love interest with Kili, their defense of Lake Town (since Azog doesn't exist, no one was bothering following the dwarves), and their scouting of the fortress of Gundabad. You can tell they were thrown in because of Legolas love (goddamn, he looks a lot older) and to make some sort of godawful Hollywood love story.

And here's another fucker who doesn't appear:

Yeah, what the hell. Mentioned only once in passing. See, that whole attack on the Necromancer didn't happen in The Hobbit proper, so there was no need for him to make an appearance because that subplot wasn't happening... kinda. Remember when Gandalf just leaves them right before Mirkwood to go up to the mountains and saw that the Ringwraiths had broken out? Actually he's going to attend that conference with Elrond, Saruman, and Galadriel, and they decide together to attack the Necromancer then and there. There's none of this doubt from Saruman. I actually didn't know about this — Gandalf just literally leaves them without mentioning why and randomly shows up again — and had to read it elsewhere. I'm actually somewhat happy about this. Although not in the actual The Hobbit, it nevertheless was happening and was a cool addition. Still, it had nothing to do with Bolg's attack.

Thorin himself was actually the craziest change for me. In the movies he's depicted as a brooding deposed prince, wanting to take his rightful place as king. In the books he can't shut the fuck up, doesn't have that animosity toward the elves, and is at times indecisive. That whole part about the prophecy Bard knew about Thorin bringing ruin and the gold having an averse effect on people didn't happen either. Actually that last statement I found to be particularly jarring in the movies; he wasn't like that in the earlier installment and suddenly he appeared crazy in the latter two. It was like in Order of the Phoenix when Harry began to randomly scream at people, something he never did before. It felt like a complete roundabout with no bridge in between.

Not being a fan of the books, I wasn't aware of this level of butchery. I can say as a Harry Potter lover the movies incensed me, although none of them (except maybe Prisoner of Azkaban) fucked it up to this extent. I'm not displeased if a movie deviates from a book because some things cannot be moved between media, and sometimes things that may be exciting in words will be boring as shit on screen, so something needs to be spiced up. The Hobbit wasn't one of them. We all know The Hobbit underwent these changes to milk as much money as possible and not to help the transition onto the big screen, which is probably why people are so upset. As a person who saw the movies before the reading the book, they provided a coherent storyline, but I could immediately figure out this is not close to the source material. If they wrote the script better, I should not have been able to perceive that.