When Charles VIII of Frances died unexpectedly in 1498 without any heirs, the throne passed to his second-cousin, Duke Louis of Orléans. Nowadays we think of the French kings as some of the most powerful of Europe, but particularly in the early days of the Middle Ages they barely had any real authority at all. Technically they just controlled the Île-de-France, a small area surrounding Paris. Eventually through marrying heiresses or employing escheat were the French kings able to become the towering figures we think of like Louis XIV, the Sun King.

Louis of Orléans, or now Louis XII, comes in during that consolidating period. And he faced a problem. Charles VIII had married Anne, the duchess of Brittany. Now that she's a widow, the dukedom reverts back to her. Brittany is nothing to sneeze at; it's double the size of the Île-de-France, plus it's always been quasi-autonomous and troublesome, so to put it under direct control of the French royal family would solve a lot of issues. Not wanting to lose this opportunity, Louis planned on marrying Anne, but unfortunately he was already married to another woman named Joan, who was Charles VIII's sister.

Normally in these situations kings use consanguinity, which is basically an anti-incest law. The degree depended on the time period, but during Louis' time the church prohibited within the fourth degree unless you got a papal dispensation first. And the pope allowed this marriage, so Louis couldn't use that route, never mind they actually were legally far apart enough to marry, surprising considering everyone was related to everyone in the European nobility by this point.

Next he tried to say lack of consent. Charles VIII and Joan's father, Louis XI, arranged this marriage, and it eventually came to fruition when the two reached puberty. Age of consent back then was fourteen, but unfortunately Louis nor anyone else could really definitely say whether he was fourteen or a little younger.

So he picked the most humiliating way possible: He couldn't consummate the marriage due to her physical deformities, which is humiliating to say the least. At this point Joan got pissed off, so she produced two witnesses who said Louis bragged after their wedding night he went for three or four rounds, so he countered with he couldn't have sex because she used witchcraft on him, and her riposte was how does he know what sex is like with her if he's under a spell.

Clearly Louis was just making shit up as he went along, and if Pope Alexander VI didn't need his help against the Sforza, there's no way he could've obtained an annulment. But that's always what I wondered about this case: If Alexander was under your thumb anyway — anyone who's played Assassin's Creed knows the French are invading Italy at about this time — there wasn't any need to start grasping at straws for a reason. Just stick with the consanguinity thing and Alexander will provide. It's not like the Borgias were known for their moral probity here. This way it's not obvious that you're lying and you have the added bonus of not insulting your wife, who may I add loyally managed your estates and helped your release after you were an idiot and rebelled against the French crown, only to be captured and imprisoned. Jesus Christ son, have some class.