Darius, king of the Persians, and his reaction when the Ionian and Athenian Greeks burned one of his cities:

When Darius first heard this report, he disregarded the Ionians, since he knew that they at least would not escape punishment for their revolt; but he inquired who the Athenians were, and after he had been told, he asked for a bow. He took the bow, set an arrow on its string, and shot the arrow toward the heavens. And as it flew high into the air, he said: "Zeus, let it be granted to me to punish the Athenians." After saying this, he appointed one of his attendants to repeat to him three times whenever his dinner was served: "My lord, remember the Athenians." ^*

I fucking love every second of this. Imagine this shit in a modern context:
Obama: Malia, pass the potatoes, please.
Some aide: Mr. President, remember the Russians.
Michelle: Honey, are we meeting the French president next week?
Some aide: Mr. President, remember the Russians.
Sasha: Dad, do I have to walk Bo tonight?
Some aide: Mr. President, remember the Russians.

^* Herodotus, The Histories, trans. by Andrea Purvis, ed. by Robert Strassler (New York: Anchor Books, 2007): 415-16.

Often he told his audience he had come because he had been reading about southern defections to the Republicans. "We just decide we'd come down and see who deserted us and where they'd gone." Or he would talk about his daddy, his father who had been dying in a hospital, but when he, Lyndon, had reminded his daddy that he would get better medical care in the hospital, Lyndon would say, but his daddy had said, "I want to go back amoung our people, where they know when a man's sick, and they care when he dies." That is is the difference between Democrats and Republicans, Johnson would say. "Democrats do care when a man is sick, and they care when he dies, and Democrats care year in and year out." Republicans care too, he said--"just before every election time." ¹

What may be surprising for a modern reader is Johnson was the senator from Texas and this passage describes as he campaigned in the south in 1960 for JFK. During the Civil War, it was the Democratic South that seceded from the Republican North; Lincoln belonged to the Republican party. In the latter part of the 19th century, Democrats began to advocate more use of federal power to cure social ills as a method to win the West; small farmers in Kansas for example were being crushed by railroad companies. This worked also in big cities where workers were having problems against factory owners. The South remained with the Democratic Party until about FDR, whose use of federal power exceeded what many southerners were comfortable with. When Truman then advocated civil rights, the south first formed their own party, the Dixiecrats under Strom Thurmond, and when that didn't work some of them switched to Eisenhower in 1952. They held onto the Democratic Party for a few years as the old Democratic stewards from the early 1900s still controlled congress -- people like Lyndon Johnson -- but as they died out the South remained strongly Republican since the 1970s.

Today it seems like an anathema that anyone from the South would be a Democrat and in liberal-rich places like NYC or SF that anyone would dare to be a Republican. But that speech by Johnson, a mere fifty years ago, shows how the tide can turn. I feel like this election is showing the fissures under the surface in both parties, and it could be one of those moments. In 1948 disaffected, southern Democrats created the Dixiecrat party. They also voted for William Wallace as a third-party in 1972. This may be one of those years, and who knows? It may flip again. In another century, New York may proudly proclaim its alliance to Republican principles.

(Whilst I'm quoting this book, I'd also like to mention the part that made me laugh loudly in a quiet library: Often, as the train pulled out, with "The Yellow Rose" blaring again, he would think of additional points he wanted to make, and, with the train already in motion and pulling away from the crowd, would turn back to the microphone, waving and shouting to make them, so that as the train disappeared down the tracks, the sound of his voice remained behind with its final message, as when he shout while the train was chugging away from the station in a little town in Virginia named Culpepper: "Good-bye, Culpepper. Vote Democratic. What has Dick Nixon ever done for Culpepper?" Since often the public-address system was still turned on as the train left, his audience could also hear his aides to his staff.... "Good-bye Greer. God bless you, Greer. Bobby, turn off that 'Yeller Rose.' God bless you, Greer. Vote Democratic. Bobby, turn off that fuckin' 'Yeller Rose.' " ²)

¹ Robert Caro, The Years of Lyndon Johnson: The Passage of Power, (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2012): 146.
² Robert Caro, The Years of Lyndon Johnson: The Passage of Power, (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2012): 147.

When I was a girl, I had a doll named Booty. It was just any regular plastic toy with fake synthetic hair you can get from any dollar store, but I loved it more than anything else. So much so that I wrote a whole book about her. I mean a literal fucking book that was at least a 150-page compilation of short stories involving her and her friends like Groobee, Loobee, Bootà, and Sienfeld. It surprisingly survived the fire, although it's heavily charred and the ink bled from the firefighters' water, but it's still legible. To give you a taste of the stupid, stupid shit an eleven- and five-year-old can produce together, I present you one of them:

(Note: This originally came with illustrations and comments in the header and footer, which I cannot reproduce here.)
(Second note: Spelling and grammatical errors were not edited out.)

Booty in:
Mobil
(created by the Booty Story Foundation of Canada © 1987-2008)

Booty was a good girl. She was at home playing video games. Riva came home. Riva said, "Hey Booty" Booty said, "Yup." Riva said, "What are you doing?" Booty said, "I'm killing the enemies." Riva said, "You're so violent." Booty said, "Yup" Riva said, "Well ok then" Booty said, "I want a new game." Riva said, "Well I'm not going to pay for your violent games." Booty said, "That's too bad. They're important to my development as a person." Riva said, "Go Get a Job and buy it yourself." Booty said, "I have better things to do." Riva left the house

Act 2 Scene 3.1434

Booty was at home playing video games. Riva came in. Riva said, "I got you a job at the Mobil Gas Station®." Booty said, "I told you I didn't want a job." Riva said, "Well, Groobee is your manger now." Booty said, "Groobee is 1, how can he be a manager?" Riva said, "Well he's got a bottle"

Booty in: Mobil Act 1 Scene 0.1

Booty was walking to her new job. When she got there, she stepped on a rubber hose.

DING

A little bell sounded. Booty stepped on it again.

DING

Booty started stepping on the bell repeatedly.

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING

Groobee screamed, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE SUPPOSSED TO HELP CUSTOMERS, NOT SCARE THEM AWAY!!!"
Booty continued to jump on the rubber thingy.

DING DING "SHUT" DING "UP" DING DING DING

Groobee began to start shoving Booty

DING "SHUT UP" DING DING "SHUT" DING <Shove> "UP" DING DING DING <shove> DING DING DING "SHUT UP" DING DING DING

Just then the mayor drove into the station. He said, "I'm here to check the safety of this station." Booty said, "SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE." She started jumping on the rubber hose again. Groobee said, "Welcome sir, as you can see we have the highest quality workers here." The mayor said, "Yes I can tell." Booty continued to jump on the hose. The mayor said, "What is that person doing?" Groobee said, "Well sir. I believe that she's jumping on the hose." The Mayor said, "Well ok." Booty grabbed the hose and started to bite it. Booty said, "Do you have my uniform ready?"? Groobee said, "Yup" Booty put on her suit.

Booty was sure she liked her new job. She got a new hat and a gas pump. She waited for her first customer. A minivan came up. Booty said, "Hello sir, how can I help you?" the man said, "Can I have some gas?" Booty said, "Well. I dont know how to pump the gas, but I can step on the dingy thing for you." The Man said, "Well, that would be just as good." Booty started jumping on the ding thing.

DING DING DING DING DING

Groobee walked over to the minivan. He said, "Sir, what do you want." The man said, "Well some gas would be good, but this is nice anyway." G®ooßéè said, "Well alright then." Another car came up. Groobee said, "What do you want sir?" The man said, I want some air and gas." Groobee got the air hose and handed it to the man, and began pumping gas into the side of the car. Groobee said, "See another happy customer." Booty said, "Yes. This is hard work."
The jungle continued to walk.

Gato came to the Mobil station. He said, "I want to ding the bell myself, Booty" Booty handed him the dingy hose. He began to punch it. Another car came into the station. The man in it said, "Well, could you please ring the bell for me Booty?" Booty said, "Well, the hose for the bell is already being used, but I'll jump on the air hose for you." The man said, "Well, whatever."

Booty jumped on the air hose.

FFT FFT FFT FFT FFT FFT

Gato continued to punch the bell.

DING DING DING DING

FFT DING FFT DING FFT DING FFT DING

Groobee came out and said, "How could I help you sir?" The man said, "Well I have a stomach ache." Groobee said, "Well, this is a Mobil Gas Station®." The man said, "um so what." Groobee said, "Well you don't normally go to a gas station when you have a stomach ache." The man said, "Well I have a stomach ache." Groobee said, "Well you could try biting my gas pump if you think it will help." The Man said, "Well sure." Booty continued to jump on the air hose. Booty jumped on the air hose so hard it poped. The whole O-Zone started to get sucked into the air hose.
yup.

I don't know if it's because I played video games and I always look for ways that would make my life easier, but I always pay attention to little things in design. For example, signage. Today when I went to the airport, I had no idea where the arrivals were. All it would take is a simple indication with an arrow that takes "arrivals." Or when I finally arrived, I found the corridor that was employed by all flights had a giant "British Airways" plastered on the wall, confusing me for a bit as I tried to ascertain where the other airlines' arrival points were. Another example is convenience. They had the display for the arrival times facing a completely different direction from the seats, so if you wanted to check the status, you had to get up and walk around a pillar to see what's up. I'm not a professional and yet I notice these problems in design. How the fuck am I picking these up but not the people actually creating these places?

Me: Are we painting eggs this year?
Mom: I'm glad you kids are grown up now so I don't have to deal with that shit anymore.

Happy Easter!

Nowadays movie theaters and concert halls use dimmed lights to let you know the show is beginning. We're so used to this queue that we don't even think about it. But I wonder what they did in the years before electricity. Hiring a crew to blow out the candles and light them during an intermission would be a bitch. Even more, they had no spotlights to draw the audience's attention to certain actors or events. I know Shakespeare's plays were acted during the day probably for this reason since the Globe was outside, but what about ballets or such that were inside? Everything was by candlelight? What effects were lost because they couldn't control ambiance with illumination?

The problem with crochet is when you're done with a project, you have these huge bundles of yarn everywhere. I have dozens and dozens of thread from my embroidery, but that shit I can easily put it in a box. I have no space left this yarn. I should look around for something to use them with...

This weather is killing my garden. One day it's 70° so everything starts budding, then the next day it drops to 35°. I get the feeling it won't bloom as much this year...

The protagonist of Tales of the Abyss is the son of a duke. Although they refer to his father as such, their retainers refer to his mother "lady" and he himself "young master." From my small amount of Japanese, I gathered they probably were called 様 and 坊ちゃん, and that would be a good translation. It's just in English that makes no sense. The wife of a duke is a duchess. And their son is a lord. Well, OK, the eldest son is usually given a lesser title like viscount (which the protagonist received later in the game) or marquess, but even the younger sons would be called a lord.

Based off of Great Britain, which is where English originated and still has all these positions, this is how it goes:
King/Queen: Your Majesty
Prince/Princess: Your Highness
Duke/Duchess: Your Grace, Your Excellency
Earl/Countess: Your lordship/ladyship / My lord/lady
Marquess/Marchioness: Your lordship/ladyship / My lord/lady
Baron/Baroness: Your lordship/ladyship / My lord/lady

("Your Excellency" and "Your Grace" are admittedly a mess. Usually those are left for diplomats, certain members of the royal family, heads of state, archibishops and bishops, and other high-level positions in government. It changes depending on the country or religion.)

It's literal translation vs. English usage. For video games we have two levels going on here: I'm just gonna assume most Japanese translators in that position don't really know methods of address and styles because it's not their area of interest. But simultaneously I'm also gonna assume Japanese doesn't either. Oftentimes they create a story that feels western -- the protagonist's home in Abyss definitely would be more appropriate in a European context than a Japanese -- but they still have to work within the honorifics that originated within their own language. It's a difficult situation to put the translator in. But I still feel if you're going to translate one dude as "duke," you gotta make it work for his entire family. If he's a duke, why isn't his wife a duchess?

Me:
Me: Surprisingly the hardest fucking part of that was the eyes and mouth.
Alex: wow
Alex: that's awesome
Me: I would not want to fight Kirby though. He'd probably eat me.
Alex: oh he would 100% eat you
Alex: the question is, what would the powerup be
Alex: maybe he'd start speaking french
Alex: that's truly terrifying

I've got this fucking song stuck in my head for the past 24 hours. Thank you Alyssa for sharing this with me. Fuck you.

I was thinking the art style seemed similar, and it turned out the creator also did 2 Stupid Dogs and The Powerpuff Girls.

Pyrrho was an ancient Greek philosopher in the 300s-200s B.C. and the father of modern skepticism. He claimed that it was impossible to know whether anything your senses gave you was actually real, and from that it was impossible to know morality. Nothing really exists; human convention guides society, but no action or object is more important than anything else. He lived his philosophy to the extreme, i.e. he would just walk wherever the fuck he wanted regardless of circumstance. He's about to step in front of a carriage? That carriage does not weigh more than his action of strolling down the road, so he'll keep going. He's about to fall off the side of a cliff? That cliff is nonexistent and that's not going to stop him. Diogenes Laertius, a biographer in the 200s B.C., writes that Pyrrho's friends followed him wherever he went to prevent him from dying. When one of them fell into a mud pit, Pyrrho kept on going because to help him would be a moral judgment.

I derive two things from this: Either this entire story is completely wrong, or people in ancient Greece were really fucking loyal. I love you guys, but if one day you said this world doesn't really exist and just started wandering into traffic or falling into train tracks because nothing is real, I would stop helping you after a while and just commit you into a mental facility. Don't these people have anything better to do with their lives? After day ten, doesn't this become tedious?

Seriously Book Off, if you're selling a game for $127, you'd better not slap two stickers on top of that oak tag box that'll rip the moment I take it off.

I went up the membership desk at the Met and informed them I wanted one, so the dude behind the counter made me an ID. When I turned around, glancing at the card, I saw the New York ID logo on the side and remembered that people who have those get a year's membership. I pondered this for a moment because I don't have one of those, so why was he giving me a card with that? Do all cards have that? And then I realized I never paid him. So I immediately turned around asked when the billing would happen. Would I have to send a check or something later? Wen he informed me it was free, I knew we had a miscommunication. Yes, he thought I had an NYID and so I was entitled to that gratuitous membership. The thing is... he never asked to see my NYID and just gave me a membership. Does that mean the Met is just handing these out? Can I sneak my friends in now?

I was going through the notes dad wrote about our plumbing problems, when I came across this:

Dad told me not to swear too often because the shock wears off, and I'll give that to him; this sentence wouldn't've been nearly as funny if he weren't so mild-mannered.

I fiddled with the 3DS version of Ocarina of Time for a bit. Besides the updated graphics elucidating some unclear physical aspects, I was curious how they'd handle the ocarina. In the original N64 version, the five notes corresponded with the four C buttons and A. For the GC, the C button remained as a little nub and they continued to use the A, although you could also employ X, Y, and Z for some notes. The 3DS though... I wasn't certain. If you wanted to mimick the original N64 controller, I would make Y, X, and A correspond with left, up, and right accordingly, and then make L and R replace down and A. This is what I got instead:

It is really, really fucking confusing. I don't know what they discussed in the planning room, but I wouldn't've picked this. It's not very intuitive.

One finds evidence of the total dependence on mother's milk in one of the Icelandic sagas: the tale of Thorgisl. The infant's mother is murdered with her child in her arms. Although she is lifeless, the child continues to nurse at her breast. After burying the mother, the father spends the long night hours gazing at the baby, and eventually decides to act in order to 'prove his manhood.' He cuts his nipple with a knife until blood gushes forth. When the infant begins to suck, water gushes forth and then milk, and it drinks its fill. ^*

Well, clearly I have been reading the wrong books.

^* Shulamith Shahar, Childhood in the Middle Ages, trans. by Chaya Galai (London: Routledge, 1992): 54.

I was reading Le Monde, a famous French newspaper, when I came across this headline: "Les « réformistes » se mobilisent contre le projet de loi travail." In my head I translated that as, "The 'Reformists' mobilize against the work law project." And then I paused, knowing this wasn't quite right. It wasn't until later when I was reading an English paper about the same topic and saw "labor law" that I realized that was the word I was looking for but couldn't quite reach.

I'm really concerned because this happens to me frequently. I feel like I have a large vocabulary, but also that my brain is wired to receive information, not produce it. If you ask me to define "adumbrate," "execrate," "gainsay," "prorogue," "supererogatory," "maladroit," "risible," or "usufruct," I could, but I would never think of those words on my own. Of course these are words would just get me mockery in anything outside of an academic context, but simultaneously I have difficulties with basic words like "labor" that everyone should know. Speech in particular I find to problematic; I often either make an incomplete sentence or change the syntax midway as I try to muddle my way through. I don't feel I had these difficulties when I was younger, and I'm somewhat at a loss how to fix it.

I met with Anna's roommate, who informed me shortly after shaking his hand that he had cold-like symptoms and started coughing up blood that morning. I immediately pondered how quickly I could start washing that hand whilst remaining discreet and besides tuberculosis what else has blood-coughing.

This morning I woke up with a runny nose and sneezed a lot.

Shit.

I've been thinking about my comments on anime groups now because the same is not happening on the manga side of the fence. It's pretty much as it's always been: a team of raw scanner, translator, editor, typesetter, sometimes QCer and English proofreader. The only major difference is there's a larger amount of people translating from Chinese, and those scans usually have this horrible watermark on them, but that's about it. It's still a group of people trying to make an effort. So I'm wondering why it changed to drastically in the anime world. Why do people more willing to consume Viz's products when it's anime but less so when it's manga? I have no answer for this.

Me: Yo son.
Me: Some asshole used my number (maybe by accident) to get quotes on transporting a truck.
Me: And now I'm getting endless calls and texts about it.
Alex: lmao
Alex: so people are just calling you up and giving you quotes?
Alex: about moving a truck?
Me: Pretty much. I've gotten two dozen calls and about ten texts.
Me: It seems the rate is about $1000.
Alex: you should just start haggling with them
Me: What the fuck is truck transporting anyway?
Me: Do they mean driving the truck from one location to another?
Mel: Because if that's the case, that's expensive.
Alex: it's confusing
Alex: does it mean moving somethign by truck or does it mean moving truck... by truck
Alex: maybe they put the truck on another truck
Me: $1000 for putting your truck on a truck?
Alex: either way i think we need to get into the truck moving business
Alex: next time they call you, you gotta get some info out of them
Me: Find out about the competition.
Alex: yes.. and what the hell we'll be doing with trucks
Me: Do either of us have trucking licenses?
Alex: i drove a U-haul once
Alex: pretty sure that confers an honorary trucking license
Alex: i did crash into a parked car and wreck his front bumper
Alex: but that was mostly his fault for parking there
Me: When we're transporting a truck, we could just drop it on his car next time.
Alex: we should prepare a list of questions for when the trucking guy calls again
Alex: like, how many trucks can you fit inside a truck
Alex: and, does being banned from u-haul mean you can't be a trucker?
Alex: what is road-head and how can i get it?
Alex: what are the perks, how many floozies can truckers expect
Alex: if you're delivering a truck, how bout cost saving by just getting someone to come get their own shit
Alex: you gotta ask the hard questions
Alex: and when they call again and give you a quote of 1000 dollars
Alex: you gotta say
Alex: DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH BLOW I CAN GET FOR 1000?
Alex: ...and then tell me the answer cause i'm curious

Residents Campaign to Save Washington Heights Associated Supermarket

This article makes me uncomfortable because I'm really on the fence about this type of issue: What are the rights of a landowner and are there any duties for the general community? One side of me says the owner should be able to do whatever the fuck he wants. If he wants to raise the rent, that's on him. If he doesn't want an Associated Supermarket on his land, it's his fucking land. He could turn it into whatever. But then I say as human beings we need to recognize we live in a society and community. Imagine for a moment if someone bought the lot next to me, tore down that attached house, and made an apartment complex that reached all the way to the property line. That would look really stupid on my block, and everyone would resent the new neighbors for that.

More people have stake on the Associated Supermarket than the landowner so I'd say just leave it, but I don't want the individual to be crushed by mob opinion. God knows courts would use this case as a precedent for later ones. I guess in a way this case follows how capitalism is supposed to work: The landowner wanted to raise his rents and not renew a lease, so the consumers were upset so they called Walgreens (which would replace the Associated) to demand they pull out of the deal, and Walgreens, sensing that location would not be lucrative, are now showing apprehension. So maybe in the end it still was free enterprise?

Well, now we know: Two computers, the PS4, the TV, and some lamps will trip the circuit. I thought it could handle more than that...

Me: I just realized you and I haven't started a band yet. Why is that?
Peguero: I don't know about you, but I can neither sing nor play any instruments.
Me: That's OK. That doesn't stop a lot of bands.
Peguero: Like who?!
Me: Man, how many rock bands think scream makes up for lack of singing?
Peguero: Hmm. Ok, I'm with you on the singing. But what about the instruments? And neither of us can write music/songs.
Me: I can play the piano and flute. Listen, I've heard some songs out there and they are awful. Skill in lyrics or song is not necessary.
Peguero: Dude, I'm not joining a band if all we're going to do is make terrible music.
Me: Listen, this is how we get better. You can't improve if you don't try! This is what band practice is all about.
Peguero: Hmm. You're right. But what are we gonna call the band?
Me: We decided years ago. The Hedgeclippers.
Peguero: I don't remember this...
Me: Why do you think I'm bringing it up? I remembered the discussion from long ago.
Peguero: Why did we end on the Hedgeclippers?
Me: We were talking about AC/DC and how any band can have a dumb name and be successful, so we decided on The Hedgeclippers to prove it.
Peguero: Solid logic.

Anyone with us? We've decided I'm the hot, brooding one and she's the troublemaker with a heart of gold. We still have space for the crack addict, laid-back ladies' (wo)man, and egotistical asshole.

Poor Scores Leave an Afrocentric School in Chicago Vulnerable

When I started reading this article, I was expecting something along the lines of racial injustice making a school close its doors because of its focus on black pride. And although I could sense the writer John Eligon tried to stay somewhat neutral, the message was more or less that instilling confidence into socially-disadvantaged black kids is a good thing, which I think we can all agree on. It's just when I saw they were in the 14th percentile in read and 8th percentile in math, my eyes fucking flew out of their sockets. Yeah, we all complain about standardized tests and how classes are geared more toward them than learning, but at the end of the day you gain something from it. You have a grasp of algebra or how to read an article critically. And apparently they can't achieve even that.

Listen, you can learn about all the cruelties your community has suffered, but even if you have a sense of self-worth, if you start off at a young age significantly behind everyone else, you're remain that way. Education is still fucking important. You can scream all you want about how the African continent was screwed over by the world and still is, but ultimately if your kids aren't getting into good colleges and don't have the skills to take on that course load, they're not going to get anywhere. The community will still be in the same state it's been. Let's imagine a similar situation for me. If there were a girls' school that focused on the patriarchy, and how women have contributed to society yet have been belittled and silenced for millennia, but had terrible fucking test scores, I would never send my daughters there. They would just not succeed in life.

My problem with the article is it spends so much time talking about the benefits of the curriculum without addressing the problems. It can't be that the kids come from an impoverished area. There are lots of students who come from shitty backgrounds and still shine academically. So what exactly is the school doing wrong? I don't know because I don't have enough information. Really, you should close the institution because that shit is just unacceptable, but then the alternative is probably just as bad: Put the kids into other schools and increase the classroom sizes. Still, I'm worried because that place has been open for a decade and children could've attended there from kindergarten all the way to sophomore year in that environment. I really hope they'll be OK when it's time for the SATs.

Adventures in being disgustingly immature:

Canadian neighbor: Do you know the capital of [the Canadian province] Saskatchewan?
Me: Nah, I only know British Columbia, Manitoba, Quebec, and Ontario.
Canadian neighbor: It's Regina. [Rhymes with "vagina."]
Me: Pfffffffffft.
Canadian neighbor: .............