Sometimes I wonder about the people who put together DVDs and the like. I've frequently seen the menu screen's volume to be ridiculously higher than the show itself. You're wrapping up a show, the ending credits finish, and suddenly you jump out of your chair because it went back to the main menu and the TV is blasting noise. The same thing happened with The Last Airbender on Amazon Instant Video; at the beginning of each episode, the Nickelodeon logo would appear with this outrageously loud jingle before dropping down to a more reasonable level. Do any of these people realize what they're doing? Surely there's some sort of test they can do to show it's not harmonious with the rest of the show. I've literally woken up my parents when the music starts blaring out the window and creeps upstairs. This shouldn't be happening.

World War I is probably the worst war to be a soldier because thanks to trench warfare there wasn't any movement. You were stuck all day in the same place surrounded by the dead bodies of your pals. Soldiers would write back home, saying the ground was soft from all corpses they buried, with hands still sticking out of the ground or poking from the walls. And they just didn't decay. You'd see the torso of a dude who died last week next to the head of the guy a month before next to the legs of a guy from years previous. That's on top of being shelled at by cannons (and remember in the first year of the war no one had helmets), living under open sky in a hole in the ground. If you were up near the Belgian part of the line, there was literally mud up to the waist in some parts. It's no wonder that thousands of soldiers went mad.

But there's a crazy phenomenon that happened on December 25, 1914, all up and down the line on the western front. British Private William Quinton described it as such:

All around us lay about three inches of snow. A typical picture-postcard Christmas. Things were very quiet. That "peace and goodwill to all men" feeling seemed to be in the air. We could hear the Germans still strafing up Ypres away, but the next night, Christmas Eve, even up there was much quieter. Something in the direction of the German lines caused us to rub our eyes and look again. Here and there, showing just above their parapet, we could see very faintly what looked like very small, colored lights. What was this? Was it some prearranged signal and the forerunner of an attack? Or was it to make us curious and thus expose ourselves to the sudden raking of machine gun fire? We were very suspicious and we were discussing this strange move of the enemy when something even stranger happened. The Germans were actually singing. Not very loud, but there was no mistaking it. We began to get very interested. The enemy at least were going to enjoy themselves as much as the circumstances would permit. Suddenly, across the snow-clad No-Man's Land, a strong, clear voice rang out, singing the opening lines of Annie Laurie. It was sung in perfect English and we were spellbound. No other sound but this unknown singer's voice. To us, it seemed like the war had suddenly stopped, stopped to listen to this song from one of the enemy. Not a sound from friend or foe, and as the last notes died away, a spontaneous outburst of clapping arose from our trenches. Encore! Good ol' Fritz!

The front lines of the Central and Entente Powers stopped giving a shit about the war and fraternized on Christmas Day. There were reports of people actually leaving their trenches — extremely brave considering just twenty-four hours earlier even just peeping above would've gotten forty machine guns trained right at you — and exchanging gifts or playing soccer matches. The generals on both sides were horrified when they learned of this and prevented it from happening again, so it was only a 1914 phenomenon. But to me, this event just seems insane. Almost 10,000,000 soldiers died over the course of this war. How on earth do you forget all that death and suffering for one moment and just hang out with the people who shot your friends the day before? How can you accept chocolates from a French or German soldier, knowing this man may kill you tomorrow?

But at the same time, it shows how fucking stupid World War I was. At the end of the day, the reason behind it was war for war's sake. Tensions were building up between these nations for about fifty years and everyone thought at some point everything would explode. When Archduke Ferdinand was shot, pretty much every power rolled up their sleeves and said, "Okay, let's do this," and few people foresaw the horror that would unfold. And it was the people on the front lines who suffered for it. That Christmas was a representation of this: the realization that this shit is completely nuts and we're going to fucking enjoy our holiday for once, goddammit. Unfortunately even at the very end most didn't come to the same conclusion until literally the male population of some countries were nearly wiped out. But for one day, one white Christmas, it seemed like Europe had somewhat returned to normal and people could enjoy themselves.

Moham and I fucked up the core of the Gundam and have to redo it. We actually realized that weeks ago, but instead of going back and trying to figure out what we did wrong, we decided to force everything together with Krazy Glue. However it's now biting us in the ass because we can't attach the back properly, and now we can't open it up thanks to the Krazy Glue. So we've been doing research on how to remove it:

[13:42:07] gattsu456: Aight, this is what we need to remove the glue
[13:42:08] gattsu456: http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Exterminatus?file=Exterminatus_Retribution.jpg
[13:42:41] gattsu456: http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/walgreens-isopropyl-alcohol-first-aid-antiseptic/ID=prod6056576-product
[14:03:04] Dun 4 Hire: .................................
[14:03:13] Dun 4 Hire: For a moment there, i thought you were trying to tell me to kill the Gundam.
[14:09:32] gattsu456: It was a fatal error that could have led to The End.
[14:10:10] Dun 4 Hire: "Some may question your right to destroy ten billion people. Those who understand know that you have no right to let them live."
[14:10:17] Dun 4 Hire: I like how that was the first thing written on that page.
[14:10:24] Dun 4 Hire: Like, let's look at how this happened with me
[14:10:32] Dun 4 Hire: "Thisi what we need to remove the glue:"
[14:10:34] Dun 4 Hire: And then I read that.
[14:12:41] gattsu456: Maybe in the end, it will be all we can do.
[14:15:05] Dun 4 Hire: This will be what will be taught in classes generations from now:
[14:15:17] Dun 4 Hire: "In 2014, ten billion people lost their lives. Does anyone know why?"
[14:15:22] Dun 4 Hire: "Teacher, pick me!"
[14:15:25] Dun 4 Hire: "Yes, Billy?"
[14:15:54] Dun 4 Hire: "That was when the Gundam's core was krazy glued shut, and destroying all those people was all that could be done."
[14:16:45] gattsu456: Will it be an event of treachery or heroism?
[14:17:19] Dun 4 Hire: I think we will be scorned until people realize the full extent of the obstacles placed before us.

The edges of our garage door were rotting a bit, so we had them replaced and painted: the door is white and the edging is maroon. Why? Because that's what the neighbors have. We consistently try to match with their garage, but every few years they repaint it something completely different. When we colored everything the same shade of blue, they decided to go with gray. And when we followed, they changed to maroon and white. I'm not certain if they don't realize what we're trying to do or if they're just fucking with us.

[09:40:11] Dun 4 Hire: Goddammit.
[09:40:22] Dun 4 Hire: So someone uploaded their playthrough for a game
[09:40:26] Dun 4 Hire: And I finished about half of it
[09:40:31] Dun 4 Hire: And I was gonna watch the other half this morning
[09:40:39] Dun 4 Hire: But their account was deleted for copyright infringement.
[09:40:49] gtaex2739: wow bad timing
[09:41:25] Dun 4 Hire: See, this is why you should just do everything at once.
[09:41:37] Dun 4 Hire: Instead of thinking things like, "I need some sleep." Or "I should do work."
[09:41:43] Dun 4 Hire: Just fuck around until you're done.
[09:42:01] Dun 4 Hire: And think about the consequences later.
[09:42:16] gtaex2739: that's what i've been trying to tell everyone!

As we were constructing the house, my grandmother got sick and we became acutely aware of how some houses aren't elderly friendly. Consequently we decided to design the basement on the off chance mom and dad have to move down there and become wheelchair-bound: We widened the doors, enlarged the bathroom, etc. However later on we realized there was a problem with our new, ADA basement. The old house had a giant, concrete threshold by the door, but we had to lower it to facilitate pushing a wheelchair through it. Now that the summer storms are here, we have flooding issues. So far the water hasn't crept over, but I can imagine if we get a storm of Irene's intensity it'll definitely pour through the backdoor, never mind something like Sandy. Unfortunately the storm drain to the sewer system is literally a foot and a half away from the entrance as it's always been. We wanted to move it away, but we still have the old oil tanker from back in the 1930s under the porch. If we even touch it during construction, it legally becomes an expensive environmental hazard. So the drain stayed. Even then I think it could handle most of it, but the neighbors on both sides of us have problems with their gutters and downspouts, so their water floods into our backyard. We're handling three properties' rainwater, and it just aggravates everything.

Man, I wish these storms would end so I can stop checking the backdoor every fifteen minutes...

If you go a few miles north of Concord, New Hampshire, there is an island with a large statue of a woman. A plaque says, "The war whoop tomahawk faggot & infanticides were at Haverhill the ashes of Wigwam-Camp-Fires at night & of ten of the tribe are here."

...What?

This statue is of Hannah Duston, a woman who lived in colonial America in the 1600s and 1700s. During the French and Indian Wars, Native Americans frequently kidnapped colonists in frontier areas and brought them to French Canada, who would ransom them back. In 1697 there was a raid in Duston's town Haverhill, and they captured her, her newborn baby, and her nurse. As they were marched up north, the baby wouldn't stop crying so one of the Native Americans smashed it to death against a tree. One night they were camping on an island, and Duston took a tomahawk to bash in ten of their heads, including children, and then scalped them. She then returned home and lived for another forty years.

Duston's story wasn't well known until over a century later when the United States was trying to find its own identity, and she seemed like a homegrown type of a hero perfect in the age of Manifest Destiny. Nowadays she's much more controversial considering our current views toward Native Americans and that children were amongst the killed. Descendants of that tribe are doubtful of the story considering babies are believed to be sacred in their culture and would be extremely unlikely they'd kill her newborn.

Still, this story explains the plaque somewhat. The faggot refers to the burning of the Haverhill, infanticides and tomahawks the Native Americans, and the ashes the evening fires on the island. Yet even with this information, this plaque is an assault on grammar. I spent a long time trying to figure this out, and I think they meant to put in a period and some commas in there: "The war whoop, tomahawk, faggot, & infanticides were at Haverhill. The ashes of Wigwam-Camp-Fires at night & of ten of the tribe are here." Even then it's not even passable.

Let's start with the first sentence. First off, the infanticide didn't happen at Harverhill, it happened later. So that's just wrong. Second, what the hell does "the war whoop and tomahawk" mean? You mean... the attack? Why didn't you just say that? I'm still unsure that's what it means. Is the tomahawk a reference to Duston? Because again that's incorrect since it didn't happen at Haverhill. Then the second sentence is just a mess. Why are there hyphens there? There weren't even wigwams at that location; they were just camping for the night. Why even mention that at all? The fact there were camp fires has very little to do with her story. Now look at the second half. Please explain to me what the sentence "of ten of the tribe are here" means. Why is that "of" there? Who constructs a sentence like this?

Seriously, it's like the guy writing this decided to not create anything useful at all. Was there no oversight? No editing? Was the person chiseling this into the rock thinking, "Man, I wish I knew what this means." Did no one at the dedication ceremony notice this and point it out? I've read English from a thousand years ago and it makes more sense than this shit. There are rules for plaques, and usually it's who, what, where, when, and why. This guy did none of that. If I went there, I would leave more confused than when I arrived.

I wanna follow up on my Palestine/Israel post from yesterday because I've been closely monitoring the current situation and cannot figure out what the hell Hamas is thinking. For those who don't keep up with this, I'll give a summary: In early June three Israeli boys were kidnapped in the West Bank, and were later found dead. Before their bodies were discovered, the Israeli government rounded up hundreds of Palestinians and a few people were killed in the process. Soon afterward a Palestinian boy was captured and burned to death in what was probably retaliation for the three Israeli boys. The anger between the two sides has been mounting, and the Israeli government and Hamas have been exchanging rocket fire for the past couple of weeks whilst Israeli is calling up its reserves.

For this current conflict I think Israel is definitely in the wrong. Although what happened to the boys was tragic, it should've been treated as a criminal investigation. The government definitely took advantage of the situation to detain prominent Hamas and other Palestinian leaders. It's not a situation that any government, community, or person can easily accept without giving some sort of payback. I understand that. However I don't see what Hamas gets for goading Israel. Do they realize that if it turns into a full war, Israel is literally going to flatten the West Bank? There's no way they can win. It would just be annihilation. Perhaps Jordan would step in, but I doubt they'd risk it. Maybe Hamas thinks they could play the victim card much like Lebanon a few years ago when those soldiers were kidnapped, but given Israel's conduct in the past month the Palestinians can already do that. The way that they're going now, I can't imagine it ending well for them.

Today I read a book about Palestine and Israel, apropos considering the current climate. Because I finished this right after Herodotus' The Histories, I could really sense how this could only be a modern conflict. Because if this situation happened in any earlier period, this is the solution: One side (probably Israeli with their military dominance) would just completely annihilate the other. You'd go in, execute all the men, and take the women and children as slaves. Possibly even kill them too. That's exactly what happened when Joshua's army toppled the walls of Jericho in the Bible back when the Jews first came to Israel. It was so common that Herodotus would mention mass slaughters almost in passing.

Nowadays the ideas of morality and human rights really are the only thing preventing this because both sides aren't very happy with the alternative. The Israelis don't want to assimilate the Palestinians into their country because with their birth rates in a few generations they'll dominate the Israeli legislature. And they don't want a two-state solution because that'll involve ceding land and settlements that many aren't willing to give up. The Palestinians are still upset over the loss of their land sixty years ago as well as previous injustices and are demanding more than is reasonable. Really if they both just want the land, then before what you'd just do commit genocide until there wasn't anyone to stop you from doing so. It's just because nowadays we're not insane so just the mere idea of it sends shivers up our spine. (The dominant political party in Palestine, Hamas, seems open to it though.) Consequently they both have to dance around each other, never really reaching a solution. And I don't think there will be one anytime soon.

I'm reading about Darius I of Persia's campaign against the Scythians, a tribal people who lived on the northern part of the Black Sea. Here's what Herodotus had to say after some encounters between them:

The Scythian kings ... sent a herald to Darius bearing the following gifts: a bird, a mouse, a frog, and five arrows. The Persians asked the herald bearing the gifts was, but he said he had received no orders other than to present the gifts and then to leave at once. He added, however, that the Persians would realize what the gifts meant if they were wise. Having heard this, the Persians considered the matter together. ... Gobryas ... reasoned that the gifts had the following significance: "Persians, unless you turn into birds and fly up into the sky, or mice and descend underground, or frogs and hop into the lakes, you will be shot by these arrows and never return home."^*

Why in god's name would you ever send something like that? I can't fathom a single reason behind it. What do you gain from not having your message properly conveyed? There is no advantage in turning this into some sort of riddle. Do you know why you obfuscate messages? It's because there's some hidden meaning you don't want any interloper to receive, like battle plans, intrigue, or warnings. This is basically a "hey, get the fuck off my land" notice. The Scythians want the Persians to understand it. For example, you're standing on some old man's lawn and he exits his home to give you a lamp and dog fur, which signifies unless you stay on the sidewalk like a street lamp, he will send his dog out after you. I'm pretty sure we'd all think he's nuts. What the hell went on in that Scythian meeting?

"Okay, let's send a dude out to Darius and tell him that he's gonna lose this war."
"Wait, let's give him a bird, mouse, frog, and five arrows instead."
"Why the hell would we do that?"
"I don't know, it's pretty cool. It'd provide a dramatic story later."

^* Herodotus, The Histories, trans. by Andrea L. Purvis, ed. by Robert B. Strassler (New York: Anchor Books, 2009): 333-34.

In elementary civics class, we were taught about the Bill of Rights. I can list the first five off the top of my head — 1)freedom of speech / religion / assembly, 2)guns, 3)no quartering soldiers, 4)no unreasonable searches, and 5)no self-incrimination — but I only vaguely recall the rest. But did you know this wasn't the original list? Number 1 was actually supposed to be Number 3. The actual first amendment was this:

After the first enumeration required by the first article of the Constitution, there shall be one Representative for every thirty thousand, until the number shall amount to one hundred, after which the proportion shall be so regulated by Congress, that there shall be not less than one hundred Representatives, nor less than one Representative for every forty thousand persons, until the number of Representatives shall amount to two hundred; after which the proportion shall be so regulated by Congress, that there shall not be less than two hundred Representatives, nor more than one Representative for every fifty thousand persons.

When I read this the other day, my eyes fucking popped out because this would've completely changed everything. At the moment we have about 313 million people in the US and 435 representatives in the House, meaning each member represents about 700,000 people. Because we put a cap on the amount of representatives, your vote will be diluted as the population grows. Soon each politician will have a million constituents. Apparently at the Constitutional Convention they anticipated this and heavily debated the population ratio per representative. George Washington himself declared 40,000 was too many, What would he say if he saw the 700,000 today!

For over a century even without the amendment the US tried to maintain a reasonable proportion. It was only in 1929 when this was changed with the Permanent Apportion Act. At that time the Republicans were in control of both houses plus the presidency, and could see the writing on the wall: People were moving to cities and cities tended to be Democrat. So to prevent this they refused to do the traditional reapportions and put the cap at 435 people, which was the amount of representatives at the time.

Either way though I think we're screwed. With the way things are, your individual voice is gradually becoming less and less powerful in congress. However if we changed it to the original intentions, say 60,000 people, that means we'd have about 5,000 representatives. Imagine the gridlock now in Washington, and now imagine it with so many more people demanding time to speak on the House floor, never mind all these new voices yelling at each other. There's also not physical space for all these people. So yeah, have fun this Independence Day, knowing the House is going to hell!

As Sesostris was returning to Egypt ... he stopped at Dephnai in Pelusium, where his brother, to whom he had entrusted the rule of Egypt, invited him and his children for a visit. While he was there, his brother stacked wooden all sides of his house and set it on fire. As son as Sesostris realized what was happening, he consulted his wife, whom in fact he had brought along with him. She advised him to stretch two of their six children across the pyre to form a bridge over the flames that the rest of them could use to save themselves. That is what Sesostris did, so that, although two of his children were thus burned up completely, the rest escaped to safety with their father. ^*

Here's my idea how that conversation went down:

Sesostris: Darling, the house is on fire! I don't know how I, the pharaoh of Egypt, managed to enter a house small enough to put a tiny pyre around it, without any guards or servants to notice what the fuck was going on outside, but the house is on fire! What do we do?
Wife: Don't worry; I got this. Let's just throw Child A and B over it to make a path!
Child A&B: Wait, what??
Sesostris: Brilliant! Just what I'd expect from you, honey!
Child A: Why can't we just construct a bridge from all these tables instead?
Child B: Yeah, a human body would be really slippery to walk across.
Child A: Plus, it takes longer to burn through wood.
Sesostris: Okay sweetie, I'm ready now, let's throw them in!
Wife: Ready whenever you are!

^* Herodotus, The Histories, trans. by Andrea L. Purvis, ed. by Robert B. Strassler (New York: Anchor Books, 2009): 162.

You know what I hate? Laugh tracks. It makes the show less funny for me. Half the time, the joke isn't even funny. And the other half of the time, it's more like a "Heh... that was pretty good" type of joke, but the people in the show are shitting their pants like it's the most hilarious thing in the world. By exaggerating the response, it just emphasizes for me how I shouldn't be reacting like that. Just let the humor flow as it is. If it's a good enough show, it'll work.